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female
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*onest&devoted
writes: I have a huge problem. I had a bmi of 21.5, I am 5'10" inches tall and weighed 150 pounds up until 2 months ago. I am now 166 pounds and I am miserable. I walk around feeling ugly everyday and I have not gone home because of how awful I feel about the way I look. I do not feel as sexy as I did before. I want to lose the weight, I want to look better but there are so many things going on in my life. I am so miserable. I just want this misery to end.When I see persons looking at me, I think about the awful comments they must make in their minds. Guys do not find me attractive. All my clothes are tight, most of them do not fit. I went shopping recently and bought only large tops and to my surprise not one of them fit. I am so frustrated. I feel like a failure. I want to lose 25 pounds. 145 is my desired weight. I need to lose this weight. I cannot stand being like this for much longer. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008): Dont feel bad. i am facing the same problem. i need to loose 25 pounds. i am 5"7 and am used to whighing 125. i wheighed my self three weekes ago and i was 155! i wanna loose it but its hard 4 me to eat good portions
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2007): Well the answer to your question is that you may think your fat but believe me your not.Every woman thinks that she is fat.And most woman think that no man is attracted to them but you have to be your self when your around men and soon they will be asking ''does she like me'' or''is she interested in me.'' one more thing let them like you 4 who you are and not what you look like.Whether your big or small.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2006): thank you i will now try to be who i am inside and not what people think i am
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2005): You state in your question that there are many other things going on in your life right now.Perhaps therefore you are using your weight as a scapegoat to avoid confronting other feelings and issues.
You do not state your age.If you are perhaps between the ages of eleven to seventeen or so, realize that you will gain weight as your body develops, and that this is normal, desirable and healthy.
If not, try to examine why you may have gained weight, this will assist you in losing some weight, if you still feel this is necessary.
I admit, however, that I am curious as to why you feel the need to weigh even LESS than when you claim the problem began? This to me would suggest that all is not well in your personal life.
I would advise that you share your concerns with your doctor, or if you do not feel able to do this, perhaps request a lady doctor instead. They will be able to tell you whether you need to lose weight, and you will be able to discuss any underlying issues that might be planting in your mind a false quest for "perfection".
For example, feelings of imagined ugliness, or being overtly critical of one's appearance often surface after a breakup.Is it possible that this is the case?
Try to focus upon what the real issues might be.
By the way, I am five feet five and eleven stone, bmi 26 and I have never been called fat and do not consider myself so!After 2 kids maybe a bit extra here and there but, hey, that's life!!
Good luck!
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reader, dr.question +, writes (31 August 2005):
To the woman, that's really depressed about her weight, read this dear cupid question:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-secretly-crave-a-big-busty-woman.html
This will answer all your questions. Believe it or not, there's an entire secret subculture of normal, nice guys that LOVE extra weight on women!! I should know, because that's MY question I wrote to dear cupid. Keep your chin up, and don't look down on yourself. You are beautiful!
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2005): Please go easy on yourself-twenty-five pounds overwieght seems horrid to you but it's not. You are allowing yourself to fall victim to what our culture deems "beauty", which is skinny, skinny, skinny! Stop doing that! Society constantly bombards us with images of thin, fit, attractive women and tell us that they are the picture of perfection and that we should all be seeking to achieve. We hold these images as the standard by which all people will be judged and by which we judge our self-worth.
What it all comes down to is that you need to learn to be happy with what you have and who you are. It sounds like you are way too hard on yourself and you need to make a change of attitude in how YOU view yourself. You must stop torturing yourself trying to live up to what you think people want you to be. Accept who you are. Anyone worthy of our love and our affection will think that we are beautiful and sexy because of who we are, not what size our favorite pair of jeans are.
Stop weighing yourself and cut yourself some slack. Imagine spending a day, or a week, without a weigh scale measuring your self esteem and your self-worth. Get rid of it. Concentrate on things you do well Your body isn't necessarily changing drastically, your perception of it is. I've put on 25 pounds in my lifetime, and nobody cared. They still loved me anyways and many didn't even notice! Just be your beautiful self, inside and try to remember that if you're feeling good about other things in your life, you'll be less critical of how you look. Do things you do well. And if you've had a bad day, stay away from the scales and the mirrors. When a woman is happy and confident, she may not have a "perfect" body, but she doesn't give a damn!
As for losing that stubborn 25 pounds, you might want to try to get physical for FUN. Your body needs EXCERCISE and REAL FOODS. Take walks, dance in your living room, garden, golf, try to get moving for your heart, not to decrease the size of your bottom. You may lose weight and you may not, but your body will be stronger, your stress will be lower and you'll feel better. Develop your own style. Have fun-laugh-smile-be happy and positive. You're the boss of you. By speaking out and accepting yourself (dimples and all), you help break the barriers, so many women fall prey to.
So relax, take this ONE day at a time, watch your portions, exercise and get healthy. But do it for you! Not because you are worried what other people think of the way you look. Beauty and glow does come from within and learn to love yourself...and that will show in all you do.
Good luck, dear and take care
Hugs
Irish
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female
reader, gemlady +, writes (30 August 2005):
Firstly, you may have heard this a hundred times already but you have to remember whats on the inside counts the most! A thin, beautiful person with an ugly personality is worse than any physical flaw. I understand that you are unhappy in yourself, and by the sounds of things very insecure. Sometimes in these situations the only help that we can get is from ourselves. You are not going to lose huge amounts of weight over night, but simple changes to your diet and gentle exercise will make all the difference in the world. Plus it will make you feel better as you are being pro active to your problem.When you buy clothes try them on first. Although you may feel uncomfortable buying bigger sizes initially, if ur clothes fit they will flatter your figure more. As time goes on it will be so exciting as you get to buy more clothes each time in a smaller size. My main advise would always be love yourself as you are and remember you are a good person, but if you are determined to change then like I said small changes to your lifestyle...and remember why would you ever care what judgemental people think! They are not worth your time and emotions.Take Care and good luck
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