A
male
age
30-35,
*rapped At Home
writes:Dealing with limerence.I have already posted 2 questions and this extends on from them.After listening to the agony aunts so far, I believe I have limerence, which is like an extreme love over someone, another boy.If you check wikipedia, for the symptoms, I match all of the symptoms, constantly looking for hints he reciprocates my affections, when he says hi, i feel elated, if something goes bad, or i start to see sense he's probably not into me, it hurts and i feel so much pain.All I think about his him, he is so wonderful.What I need to know, is how do I get my mind off him, how do I end the limerence?Even though i know it must be done, as it is unhealty to be so obsessed with someone, my heart doesn't want to let go of him, but my head says i must. Help me, what do I need to do to end the pain? End the never ending desire. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2009): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence
Read this very carefully. You will then understand the difference between Limerence and infatuation/crush.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2009): By telling the object of your affections the truth, you will end your obsession one way or the other. It might/probably have a unhappy ending but it could also start a new begining. It will set you free either way. On the other hand it might turn out wonderful. "Cowards die a 1000 deaths". Romantic cowards die a million. Take a tip from one who knows... Good Luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2009): I have suffered "Limerence" a number of times during my lifetime. (55 years) It is a very complex condition to be in. Paradoxical would be the word that comes to mind. Do not try to analyze/understand it to much. It might ease your heart and mind for awhile but will not help you much going forward. The best thing to do is tell the person you have feelings for, the truth. Stop waiting and thinking and hoping for him/her to bail you out. If you can't do this face to face, write to them a letter/e-mail/note. It may be very hard to do, but do it, sooner not latter. Do not go through what I have.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (2 July 2009):
 A place to go for help: http://www.slaauk.org/ Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (2 July 2009):
Cut contact with him. Stop thinking about him. Start up some new hobbies. Make some new friends, reconnect with your old ones. Talk to your parents.
If you start thinking about him, stop and replace those thoughts with something else. Every time.
I'm guessing you've heard this advice before, but can't manage to do these things. That's because you by yourself can't "fix" this. You by yourself don't have the tools to manage it. You need some outside help, that's what I'm trying to get across to you.
...............................
A
male
reader, Trapped At Home +, writes (2 July 2009):
Trapped At Home is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, I don't need profesional help. I just need to know how to get over this obsesive crush.
Everyone gets crushes, this is an extreme one, but limerence is still a crush, so I just need to know how to get over this killer crush.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (2 July 2009):
Sweetie, professional help is what is called for here. You've asked this question many times now and have had a lot of advice. I think the next step is talking to your parents and revealing your struggle to them--or asking them to get you some professional counseling.Alternatively, you could talk to a trained counselor at Childline. I think the positive step toward mental health balance is getting some professional help. Your issue is out of my league, for certain, and I expect for most of the aunts here.
...............................
|
