A
male
age
30-35,
*aoulUK
writes:Just as a warning, this could be quite long.So, I met this guy about 4 weeks ago through a friend. At first, we were just gonna be friends, but he kinda figured out I liked him, and he asked me out. I suppose the situation is slightly strange, in the sense I'm 17 and he's 25. But the age difference doesn't bother me and it doesn't seem to bother him. But yeah, we've mostly been talking over MSN, since he has a busy job at a local university. So, one week after meeting him, we have our first date, which went really great. We both had a lot of fun. And we continued to talk on MSN. He was also really teasy and stuff, and he found it really cute whenever I got nervous and shy, so he would always do something extravagant to make me go all shy, like say something flirty or something. It really seemed like he really liked me, because he always complimented me and talked about us as if we were going to be in a long-term relationship and stuff. Like he really likes my hair and he said once "I always find something I'll obsess over on a guy, and with you I know it's going to be the hair." It just sounded as if he wanted something long-term with me. There was also little stuff he did that made me think he really liked me. Like we were just leaving his place, because he was going to drop me off at home, and as we were leaving, he said "I'm gonna sneak one last kiss" and kissed me really softly.Then stuff seemed to go downhill. Every time we tried to meet every time after that, something always seemed to come up. He also became less teasy and flirty and stuff. My friends kept on telling me he's messing me around and stuff, and the idea just kept on nagging me about it. So, I confronted him about it. He said that he does get really busy with work and stuff genuinely has come up. I said I hope I didn't offend him or anything. He said I didn't, but I dunno. I think I annoyed him. That was a few days ago.Can someone tell me what could be going on with him, or what I should do next? This is my first....anything with a guy, really and I really don't want it to end. Thank you, any replies would be greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, Minelisse  +, writes (10 December 2007):
 Hey Raoul,
Actions speak louder than words. Is he calling you or inviting you out? Do you talk as often in the MSN?
This may be difficult to accept but it seems you both have different views on what "relationship" you two have. If he is not making a real effort to get to know you better or continue a relationship then he just wanted something casual. Sometimes people say what we want to hear without acknowledging our feelings, this is not nice, but you will learn, with hard earned experience to distinguish this from people who truly want to be part of our life.
Give it some time,maybe he is really busy. I wouldn't suggest calling him frequently, let him show some interest! When he does call try to get to know him and what he really wants in his life right now.
Best of lucks!
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