A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I asked this girl out recently who I actually thought liked me back, given all the flirting, but as soon as I asked if she wanted to go out, she shrugged her shoulders and said, “I don’t know, I have to think about it, can I get back to you?” What does it mean she will get back to me? I can tell it means no I’m not interested. But why must she dress it up and give it some sense of hope? When I was younger, it used to give me some encouragement but I ended up getting rejected further. I’ve learned from MY mistakes! Why can’t women say something like, “No thanks, but I’m flattered.” Or “I’m seeing someone else.” or something that gives a definite NO. I don’t understand this.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 November 2016):
 A) She could be playing hard to get therefore is leaving you hanging for a while.
B) She might not be interested but did not want to HURT you so therefore told you she would let you know.
You see OP a lot of girls can be sensitive and instead off saying a flat out no they are put on the spot and will say they think about it because they don't want to upset or embarrass the person that has asked them out. So even though you see it as her being awkward, she probably sees it as she is letting you down gently.
A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (27 November 2016):
 Playing hard to get perhaps but I wouldn't go there by asking again. You asked it's up to her to make the next move if there is one to make.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (27 November 2016):
 Your sense of entitlement worries me somewhat. You cannot control the way people behave. What you CAN control however, is your own reactions.
There are many possibilities which spring to mind from your brief description. Maybe she was just flirting as a bit of fun and never expected it to be taken seriously. Maybe she is playing "hard to get" and will eventually come back and agree to a date. Maybe you caught her completely by surprise and, put on the spot, she honestly didn't know whether she wanted to go out with you or not, as that was something she had never thought about before, and she wanted time to get used to the idea. Maybe she got a bad reaction from turning down someone else and now doesn't reject outright for fear of reprisal. Maybe she thought you were joking, that your question was all part of the flirting, so gave a "fluffy" answer. Lots of maybes.
In your shoes, I would continue to be friendly (so she doesn't think you have seen your backside because she didn't jump at your offer, because that will definitely not work out well for you!) and see what happens. However, don't bank on her coming back to confirm your date. If she does, then it's a bonus.
Going forward, you might want to tackle this feeling of entitlement you have. It will only end up making you angry and bitter because people will not live up to your expectations. Nobody owes you anything. Life is not like that, my friend.
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (27 November 2016):
 I don't think that you "deserve" a clear yes or no but I agree with you that it would be nice particularly that she was flirting. It is somewhat irritating to see a girl exert so much fake flirtatious efforts for no ultimate aim.
Be that as it may, though, I would take her position as a no and look to move on. It is rather apparent that you deem her very first interaction in this potential relationship as wrong and that is an indication that perhaps other things would not work out to your liking. If she comes around then fine, but I'd just let go of this.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 November 2016):
 You put her on the spot and she didn't know what to say. So my guess is... she is unsure, but more leaning to a no, than a yes.
Her flirting was perhaps in all good fun with no purpose of taking it further than flirting.
Would it just be simpler if girls said, yes or no? Sure, but IF she has come across just ONE guy getting mad or upset that she didn't want to go out with him, she has figured that a vague non-committal answer creates LESS drama for her. Can't say I blame her.
Personally? I'd take her answer as a no and leave it at that. You got an answer (vague as it was) take it or leave it.
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A
male
reader, The unstable entrepenour +, writes (26 November 2016):
It sounds like she enjoys the attention but doesn't wanna move past that. If I was you, I'd just forget about her and move on. You might get a nice surprise if she does get back to you and asks you out - what I'm saying is don't wait for that, and just keep going
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