A
female
age
26-29,
*aff
writes:I have been with my partner for a year now. Our relationship is perfect all but one thing. I think he cheated on me. Inside I know he did but he keeps denying it. Me and him went out one night to a rave and he had taken drugs, he disappeared and did his own thing. He was supposed to come back to my house that night but had disappeared so I went back to his friend's house to see if he went back with them. He wasn't there and I tried calling and texting all night, it just kept ringing through and he turned up at his friends where I was in the morning in the same clothes to pick his car up. He told me he went back home 40 miles but told me his dad took him to his friend's to pick up his car. There is this girl he slept with a few times before he was with me and he told me he hated her. A mutual friend of mine and hers messaged me saying she had seen messages on her phone from that night from my boyfriend and her to each other. They were ones of him saying he wanted to xxxx xxx xxxx and saying that she would pay for a taxi for him to go to hers and that he was in the taxi and it costs £6.40 and she has to come and pay for it. When I got told I confronted him and he denied it. The girl he slept with told me they never text before or after this happened , never spoke or met up that it just happened this one might and that he told her we wasn't together anymore even though we was. Eventually he said he must of sent the texts but he can't remember because he was out of his nut on drugs. But he assured me he didn't go to hers and didn't sleep with her. She said he stayed at his and dropped him off at his friends in the morning. I know deep down he done it but I want him to admit the truth. But since 2 months on that we've moved in together. We both have children from previous relationships and it's our own family unit my little boy thinks my partner is his dad. I don't know what to do the thought of loosing him breaks my heart, I want to spend the rest of my life with him and I believe I could move on from it if he told me the truth. He thinks we are all good now but every other day it comes into my head and eats away at me. I can't loose him but I want him to be honest! He has become my life now. I do trust him but never on drugs. He's stopped completely and won't be doing them again! Someone help me or give me some advice please :(
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female
reader, ellsie96 +, writes (1 January 2016):
 If it were down to me, I'd just leave him. You two together do not seem like a healthy couple. You encourage each other to do drugs and go to raves (I assume illegal raves). I'm not judging you, everyone has their own demons (I definitely do) but I feel like sometimes you need a partner who can bring out the best in you, not the worst.
When me and my boyfriend first got together he had a drug problem - you know what I did? I said to him that I could never fully trust him if he continued doing drugs, and that was that. He stopped.
The fact that you can't trust your boyfriend on drugs, and he was on drugs the night you think he cheated, says it all. I always follow my gut feeling and you should too! I do think you're right and that he did cheat on you, and you deserve better. You should have someone who is completely loyal to you and your child.
He is never going to admit he did anything wrong, but if you don't believe him when he says nothing happened, it shows there is a real lack of trust in the relationship,
Quit while you're ahead and find someone who really, truly loves and respects you.
Hope this helped :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2015): This might be a bit extreme but if i was you id set him up hes clearly not going to admit it to you what he did thats even if he can remember. when i say set him up i mean as u get a good friend of yours to sit hang out casual chat while your not in the house get them to get on the subject and see if he admits it you would also have a tape recorder going. Or you could just say to him if he doesnt admit the truth you cant move forward and dont see the relationship going anywhere , be prepared to break up tho just incase . Can you really see yourself with a drug user who 'cheats' ! does this other girl have reason to lie ? maybe she wants you to split up . Clearly drugs are a big part in this he needs to clean himself up and get off them because if i was in your shoes id chuck him just for the fact he uses drugs
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