A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:i think i'm in love with someone on this site. i know that sounds insane but everytime i read something they have written i think "omg this person is amazing, so understanding and everything i want". i've never even spoken to them apart from one time they replied to a question i asked and it made my feelings stronger because they understood me when nobody else does. help. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, deejuliet  +, writes (20 September 2007):
 You arent in 'love' with this person. YOu are attracted to the person you think they may be. You dont know this person in real life and dont know how they really are. A persons character is defined not by what they SAY or BELIEVE, but by what they DO. But attraction is where it all begins, so if you really feel you would like to get to know this person a little better then contact them through the private email and see if something developes. Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2007): Just to add to Yos's insightful advice...I will say--you have to be careful, dear. There is a certain degree of emotional intimacy that goes on, on this site every day. People have life problems, they won't even tell their spouses or families about. People feel more relaxed than ever, to let down their guard and share themselves more deeply. And I think when a person needs a compassionate, understanding 'ear' to their problems, it's very easy to feel a kinship, a connection, an attachment to someone who has listened to your problem. Many of the Aunts on this site do realize the sensitivity needed to relate and try their best, to give quality advice. But, sometimes, their can be people who are clinging to a emotional 'lifeboat' and feel this strong, unrelenting emotional need to connect with someone..anyone. And who better, than someone who understands your problem? Falling in love with an Aunt/Uncle on this, site you have typed words with, is not the basis for love. It's likely a fantasy. Meeting this person face to face, interacting and going into their world starts as a friendship and builds from there. I'm not saying, it can't happen but often if you were seeking advice to a life problem, this person had became your emotional life saver. Just keep it in perspective and stay real. Just remember the spark or connection you feel now, under the safe, anonymous haven of the internet, may NOT exist if you were to meet in reality. Perhaps something can come of this but just keep the advice given you on this thread, in mind when talking to this person..okay? Take care, dear
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2007): What if they're 500 pounds? You shouldn't have expectations. You should have just started messaging them. Now they'll probably read this and know when you start instant messaging them!!
...............................
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (20 September 2007):
 When there are gaps in our perception of someone, we can easily fill in the gaps with how we'd like them to be. This is particularly obvious in the internet: we have very little to go on. We start to imagine all the wonderful things that person 'might' be, and then take the step towards believing they might actually be like that.Having said that, if you feel that way, just contact them. Just bear in mind what I said above: you could be falling for who you think they are, rather than who they really are.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2007): I hope it's me - I could do with some excitement in my life!Phil
...............................
A
female
reader, stina +, writes (20 September 2007):
 Hi Anonymous,
Justaguy is right - why don't you add the person as a friend and start private messaging each other? As long as the person isn't involved with anyone else, then it should be fine, right?
And besides, this post is so sweet! I'm sure whoever it was would be completely flattered that you think so highly of him/her. ^_^
The only thing I would caution you about is getting so emotionally attached at this point. Sure, this person gives good answers to questions, but you don't really *know* the person. But then again, who am I to talk? I "loved" my husband for two years before I even had the guts to talk with him! lol But, like I said, see what happens when you private message him/her. Get to know them and see if you still feel the same way.
Take care.
...............................
A
male
reader, pavel38 +, writes (20 September 2007):
It's easy to 'personalise' a response on this site so that you feel that the writer is everything you could want from someone, but think about it rationally, you know nothing about this person, you could walk past them in the street and wouldn't know etc.and sorry but you're not in love, love is such a strong word and I don't think it is right to use it here, another friend told me last night how she 'loved' her ex after just 3 weeks together and only afew weeks later discovered that he was a cheating and weird liar, suffice to say she doesn't love him anymore. You're curious about this person so why not contact them directly and try to get to know them better and see how it goes from there ? - good luck :-)
...............................
A
male
reader, JustaGuy +, writes (20 September 2007):
Perhaps you should register and then you can add them onto your friends list and get chatting!
...............................
|
