A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:How do you stop yourself from having a crush on somebody? Basically, we are 15. (he's a bit older than me, 16 soon but anyway) He is one of my best friends, we have been really close for the past three years. I know I can always trust him and we could talk for absolutely hours, we are so comfortable with each other. Yet within the past few months I have been wondering if I have a crush on him. it's not like one of those instant lusty Girly crushes (oooh believe me I have been there!) I have just grown closer to him and his personality Is amazing. How do I stop this?! I can't fall for a good friend, it will destroy our friendship. Won't it? What doesn't make it easier is the way he acts. He flirts and laughs with me and wants to spend time with me, he continuously chats to me and hugs me. He's always saying he doesn't fancy anybody, so the flirting confuses me. Does he feel the same way? All our friends tell us we should go out because we are compatible yet he is always the first to say "no no no we are just friends" but I know deep down I want more......oh Help! How do I stop falling for him????!!!!!!!! i feel so confused :/ any help would be wonderful xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2012): Hi, it's the asker here! Thank you so much for replying!! I wasn't expecting such a helpful, long response. :) I think I have just accepted the fact that I have fallen for him but it only makes it harder. I am pretty sure he's into me, he is suddenly acting a little weird. He's suggestive about me and him and he flirts a lot. Sometimes quite physically (touching my arms when we talk, long hugs etc). It seems we are sort of crossing the boundary of friendship....Yet I am too scared to reveal my feelings. What if it's meaningless flirting? Won't it ruin our friendship to be in a relationship? What would actually change if I were to go out with him? We are so open with each other all that would change is more time alone and a more physical side to it. So is it worth it? My head and my heart are struggling to cooperate it feels like my brain might explode!!!!!!
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 December 2012):
 "How do you stop yourself from having a crush on somebody?"
You ignore them to the best of your abilities and focus all your thoughts on someone else. With enough mind control you can decide yourself who you want to fall in love with/have a crush on. It's very much within your control, you simply have to start paying them extra attention and play up everything they do.
Loving someone is different, that's something you have less control over and something a person tends to need to "earn" from you, by treating you well. But crushes you can control.
But, then again, why not just go with the flow and see what happens? Maybe you lose the friendship for a while, but you can always get back to being friends later on if it doesn't work out. You'd just have to stay separate for a while and get over one another, but that's what you'll have to do now anyways if you don't want to fall for him.
So, take your pick, ignore him now and stay separate from him, so as to not fall in love with him, or fall in love and see what happens. If you end up breaking up, or if he doesn't feel the same for you, then take time apart from each other for a while. So, do you want to take time apart now, before anything happens, or see what happens and then maybe take time apart later on?
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