A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My b/f is traveling out of town for business next month. His class lasts a week so he offered to have me fly out on Thursday and stay with him for the rest of the week and week-end and then we would drive home together on Sunday. It would mean I would only have to miss two days of work. I could arrive early enough on Thursday and by Friday is class is over with anyhow. We would be able to see his daughter and her kids on Friday and Sat. before coming home on Sunday. I liked the idea, so I started looking into one-way flights and getting ticket prices. Then about a week later he told me he didn't want me to come up until Friday night. He said I could work a couple of hours on Friday morning, drive 3 hours to catch the plane and be there by around 7:00 PM. That would only leave us one day together with his daughter. I was not happy about this and when I asked him why he changed his mind he flew into a rage and said he didn't want to have to rush through the class on Thurs. to pick me up at the airport. Sounds like he just wanted to be able to party with some of the people who will be attending this class. The other possibility is that his daughter has made arrangements for him to have dinner with his ex-wife, who also lives in this city, and he doesn't want me to know about it. Whatever the reason is, I am tempted not to go at all. It's too expensive for me to fly out there, if all I'm really going to be is a companion to him on the drive home. I think he's hiding something more and I'm not happy about him changing our plans after he made the offer for me to spend Thursday and Friday with him. What would you do?.....
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Replacement +, writes (25 December 2008):
 You're upset at the change of plans, which is fine, but don't get paranoid and start coming up with scenarios, you'll drive yourself nuts. My advice to you is to accept that, although it is less time than you wanted, it is still valuable time and better than none at all. See how he behaves when you get there, see if he acts strangely, and if everything seems fine, then get on with your life and dont worry about it. Unless he has given you reason in the past to think that he would lie and hide things from you, he is probably being honest about his reasons. If you like, you can discuss it face to face again when you get down there, that way you can notice any physical signs of lying that are hard to catch when not in person. Tell him that he hurt your feelings when he flew into a rage over your question. See if he is willing to apologize and make friends again. Most of all, enjoy your precious time together!
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