A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating this guy for a month now and I have always suspected he was gay. Here's why:1. He likes to get manicures and pedicures.2. He knows nothing about cars or sports...I know way more than him.3. He talks about how his male friends are "his soul mates".4. He talks about wanting to have anal sex5. He wears very tight and feminine clothes.6. We still have not had sex, yet he tells me how much I turn him on.7. He gets giddy and excited easily.8. He told his parents I was his soul mate and that he is going to marry me already! 9. He is very conscious about not gaining weight and and very critical of other people's looks. 10. He talks about his hair frequently.... 11. He doesn't wear underwear.12. He always brags about how large his penis is and how he could make tons of money being a porn star.13. He gets very bitchy and acts immature and childish around his parents. 14. He doesn't care about his car....at all. 15. He is sooo clingy and needy.16. He constantly tells me that he wants to marry me, that he can't live without me, and how we have to be together forever.17. He doesn't want kids.18. I can't figure out one thing that is masculine about him.Anyway, I am pretty sure he is gay, but I don't know what to do and how to end the relationship without him going off the deep end. He tells me that he would kill himself if I ever left him and as I said he is extremely needy and clingy....It sucks.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2009): Regardless of whether he's gay or not, you don't like him, you clearly don't respect him, and you're not very nice based on your own descriptions. The questions is why has iot taken you a month to break up with him? Who's the clingy, needy one? You can't take that much pity on him based on what you wrote. Do yourself, and him, a favor, and kick him to the curb.
A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (24 March 2009):
 first thing ... why did you get with him in the first place? But ok, since you are now firmly stuck in his suicidal mind, this is what i think re: your list of proof:
1. He likes to get manicures and pedicures. older men who do this aren't gay, but younger men are. unless he's European - in which case it's ok, and doesn't mean he's gay. and men who look after themselves are cool.
2. He knows nothing about cars or sports...I know way more than him.
not necessarily gay - maybe just geeky
3. He talks about how his male friends are "his soul mates".
gay
4. He talks about wanting to have anal sex
no, can't be counted as totally gay, as there is so much anal porn with women. needs further investigation ; )
5. He wears very tight and feminine clothes.
gay
6. We still have not had sex, yet he tells me how much I turn him on.
very very very very gay, or very fucked up
7. He gets giddy and excited easily.
just silly - affected. or is he on something?
8. He told his parents I was his soul mate and that he is going to marry me already!
he seems to be emotionally a bit odd - i don't know that he is necessarily gay - i think he is just somehow not entirely at peace with himself - he's looking for some kind of huge security that he hasn't go - hmm - that may be why he hasn't had sex with you - that or he has a mutant dick ; )
9. He is very conscious about not gaining weight and and very critical of other people's looks.
gay, or just insecure
10. He talks about his hair frequently....
hmm
11. He doesn't wear underwear.
sexy
12. He always brags about how large his penis is and how he could make tons of money being a porn star.
oh, well, forget the comment about mutant dicks - and why don't you just ask him to show you, and let you give him your opinion??
13. He gets very bitchy and acts immature and childish around his parents.
fucked up (not definitively gay)
14. He doesn't care about his car....at all.
could just be like that - not a sign of gayness on its own
15. He is sooo clingy and needy.
fucked up
16. He constantly tells me that he wants to marry me, that he can't live without me, and how we have to be together forever.
fucked up
17. He doesn't want kids.
he will later
18. I can't figure out one thing that is masculine about him.
well, maybe that he isn't being straight with his feelings ...
i think he is certainly one mixed-up kid, to say the very least. i think you should call him on it. eg, 'god, do you think there's something wrong with me? i really like gay porn!' and if he says 'me too!' you know there's something to worry about!!!!! or if he says 'oh how dreadful'
the only good answer is 'you minx - come here' .. that is straight.
or tell him you're a lesbian. that will shock him.
or say 'i'll always love you as a frirend, but you have to set me free' - that might work.
and don't worry about that suicide nonsense - but i do seriously think he needs some help. maybe just ask him straight out, 'are you gay?' - and then find him a boyf ...
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (24 March 2009):
I don't think this is anything about his sexuality.
But if you feel smothered and don't want to be with him then you need to break up with him.
Just sit him down and tell him that you feel suffocated. It's only been a month and he's talking about marriage and is incredibly clingy.
Tell him you are not ready for that kind of pressure and don't think it's going to work.
Tell him you just haven't fallen for him and you aren't ever going to.
He will be devastated and will probably cry, and you just have to be firm.
It's horrible but it has to be done
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (24 March 2009):
 If you don't want to be with him any longer then just tell him as gently and as FIRMLY as you can. Some things were just not meant to be, he'll be just fine he just sounds like he likes the drama.
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A
female
reader, 2dareANDdream +, writes (24 March 2009):
 Well at first I was going to say he could be " Metro sexual" that means he has style and acts gay, but he's not. I have a friend that is metro and we had sex and he loves girls.. But your guy, yah kinda a weirdie.. Just tell him, he is not right for you and you want to be friends..
Good luck sweetie
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