A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Been seeing a guy on and off for almost 2 years met through online dating. My friend is also on the site I was on. She told me a guy matches everything that my boyfriend is its certain things only he does its very rare things. The profile matched apperance etc, it had no pictures when my friend asked the profile gave out a phone number which is different to his but he's secretive with his phone. I think he has 2 sims in 1 phone. He has mixed some things up with me before so I did wonder and question him as usual he talked his way around it. This profile has since been deleted. Me and my friend haven't contacted the number yet, I think I'm more worried its going to be my boyfriend. We are about 1 hr drive from each other. He's met my friends but I've never met his Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2022): Op again. I dont think my friend is dating him she's on the dating site which also showed his profile but no pictures. It has very rare things that is about him matched the profile alongside everything else such as colourings height job age area he lives his interests which one is extremely rare to have when you put everything together that profile matches him exactly. Some profiles can be similar but this is like seeing him with no picture
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2022): You see each-other "on and off?" Doesn't seem like a very "committed" relationship, if you ask me.
Well-established, and truly committed-relationships, are steady and continuous. All relationships have their ups and downs; but strained, or casual-relationships, usually have a cycle of breakups and reconnections. Rather than just breakup and move-on, one or the other partner insists on holding onto the strained-relationship. Old-habits are sometimes hard to break.
Rehashing and recycling shaky relationships is a sign there are a lot of unresolved problems; and/or there may be two incompatible personalities that are poorly matched. The cycle repeats, because somebody won't let-go.
Maybe he isn't cheating, but exploring his options. You and your friend are busy spying and making accusations based on speculation and wild guessing. Don't get addicted to the drama. It's probably time to call it quits for good!
I suspect the time has now come to end the cycle of "on and off," and turn it "off" completely! Especially, if you suspect him of cheating.
It doesn't make any sense to accuse a man of cheating, but continue to hold-on to him. Now does it?
By the way, what he's doing is none of your friend's business! Why is she all up in your on-again/off-again relationship? Busy-bodies usually gossip, and get a lot of entertainment out of messing-around in your personal drama. It's between him and you! Do you pay her a fee to be your private investigator??? Is she a reporter on assignment?
You need solid evidence. If she has always been in the middle of things, it's no wonder you and your some-timey boyfriend have frequent separations. I'm more inclined to believe you just won't let him go; and keep trying to make it work, but it won't.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (24 October 2022):
 You are two years into a relationship and its still on and off, he has met your friends, but you have not met his, and you are suspecting him of cheating.
There are a lot of red flags being displayed here, enough to make most people run for the hills.
In a relationship trust is the most important factor that binds a relationship together, without trust a relationship is doomed to failure.
You are suspecting him of being secretive with his phone, having two simcards, and think your friend may be dating the same person?.
On this basis why do you put yourself through this turmoil and heartache?. over time these feelings will end up making you ill.
If you confront him i think you will get lies, and he will turn it around on you making you think that you are the problem and its all in your head.
Save yourself from future heartache and turmoil and end things with him, then delete and block him and move on.
I know its hard, but i just don't envisage a happy ending here. At the end of the day your health, happiness and well being are most important.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2022): im the op, i know his full name where he lives info about his family pics of his family and friends where he works. his ex died a few year back and im the first person ( so to speak ) that hes been with.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 October 2022):
 You are seeing this guy on and off - so maybe he sees you as a CASUAL partner?
Do you know his full name? - is it his REAL name? Do you know where he works? Do you know where he lives?
Have you BEEN to his place?
And why haven't you met any of his friends in 2 years of seeing him?
Those are MY initial questions - which ... I presume, you can't answer. Yet you have spent 2 years with him!
You obviously think he COULD be capable of cheating, so you don't have that much trust in him either.
Where do you see this going?
I'd say this, you need to do some more sleuthing (if possible) or break up because of the lack of trust. This is going to nag at you until you "confront" him and nothing he can say will make you believe a word he says.
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