A
female
age
30-35,
*pple89
writes:Well ive been dating this guys since january this year.. and everything has been perfect... i mean we had dumb arguments before about why we werent going out yet, or why he did that.. nothing serious because we always seem to get over it pretty fast... a month ago he finally asked me out when he went to see me and my family....two weeks ago he was supposed to come to visit me i got mad because he was supposed to wake up at certain time but he didnt and i got and bc i thought he was gonna come way later and i had class and other things to do...he ws on his way but then i asked him to not call me a bitch (he said me before that something like.. damn stop acting liek a bitch) and he said stop acting like one.. i then repplied to give reason to act like one.. he then blew off like i have never seen and he said IM NOT COMING AND WERE DONE.. he has never said anything like that to me.. we talked but he was very upset.. later that day he said he wasnt sure if it was a good to break up anymore.. we talked and he said we will be k we jsut need to talk face to face firsti kept on bringing it up over the next days bc i cant deal with solving it after i really wantd to talk over and give it a try but all he said I JUST WANT TIME TO CHILL...we talked on thursday (monday was the fight) and i told him vey mature like i wanna give u the time u need to talk but i wanna talk and i want u to hear me...i basically told hi that i dont think a one day fight is a reason enough to break up what we constructed over the past 8 months and that i dont like when he doenst say whats up bc it makes e think many things and dirves me crazy.. in conclusion we ended in what i though good termson friday he didnt talk to me.. i dont know if it was bc he didnt want to, or bc he literraly he worked 11 hours at the bar....all he said was "crazy ass shift" and goodnight ill talk to u tomorrow...the next day (after me not responding) he said im surprised u never got back at me.. is everyhting k .. when i didnt answer he said i dont know hwy but all i can think is that ur in ur bed with some other guy.. after that i was very sweet and reasured him it wasnt likethat...as the second week that started i was hoping hed come on MONDAY (he alwasy came on those days) and allhe said was he wasnt goign to bc he worked 40 hours th past weekend and didnt want to drive all the way were i was (we live in two cities that are 1 45 mins away) i got really sad bc i though he didnt wanna see me and wa making up lame excuses.. we talke d and he reasured me he did wanna see me but he was way to tired and didnt feel like driving,,,on tuesday he talked to me on b saying that his phone broke and wouldnt be able to tlak to me till the next day that he had an appoitment at the apple store... on wednesday he talked about how he got his pone back and didnt say much to me except to say he was at work(i called him).. but then he sen me message saying he was at this party.. i didnt know what he meant bc i didnt send him anyhting or anything.. then didnt say much except that night i called him and he was drunk...i talke d to my mom over this and all we could think of why he doenst call me anymore was that hes using this "time" to get over me slowly and that by the tim ehe was done he will jsut dump me after me waiting for him.. so i caleld him and we got in this aregument about hwo he wasnt the same bc the terms of our relatioship changed and that he didnt feel like he wanted to the things he used to do (like call me goodnight or text me througout the day what he was doing) bc he didnt feel like it anymore, he did care but our relationship had changed and he didnt see it as a necesary thing to do, since we werent bf and gf anymore.. i got mad bc beofre me and him were bf and gf he always called me or made me feel bette baout our arguments..... but all he sid is i do care but our relationship has changed.. i broke up with him bc i cant deal with time and his inddiference was hurting me and that U EITHER WANT IT OR U DONT... and all he said was i dotn want this, but if this is what u want then do it. i then changed my number (i wanted to do this along time ago, and i just took advantage of the circumstances to change it right away)we didnt talk till saturday that i called him from a pivate # (he knew it was me calling bc i sent him a text from internet saying i was about to call)... we talked normal about how our week had been and when i asked him if he was happy i called he said.. mm yeah... and if he missed me.. he said i havent really thought about it bc if were done i dont think about it to move on.. he then said i still wanna talk to u, can i still come someday and talk but that he couldnt in a while bc he was about to go to his friends beach house and then he would have to work alot bv hehas to go out of town fro some family business next week.. i said yeah off course.. we then hung u bc he was about to go to his beach house and i asked him will we ever be together and all he said i dotn know i cant tlak about thi right nwo im running late.i dotn wanna break u with him.. i dont think that a fight after us being in such good terms is a valid reason to end it.. i woudl end it if i felt like that fight was a representation of what our relationship is.. but it isnt.. we were soo good jsut before it happened.. and now all this things are happening and making it so complicatedi wanna know if this over for him.. and the whole timing thing is indeed a way of him trying to nor urt me.. or hes trying to get away from the relationship slowly.. i want him to come bc once were together things are always perfect and every argument that we had stays in the past.. but he hasnt come and i think thats another reason why things have been getting more complicated. i dotn wanna ove thingk it anymore bc i been here before and always turn out that im right.. but this guy actaually means more then what ny guy has meant to me and know that if he jsut lets it go we can make it work out.. but for some reason he doesnt want to let go of that stupid fightpls help me!. what should i do!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Precious.K  +, writes (12 October 2009):
I've heard of a phrase that goes something like this:
"If you love something, let it go.
If it comes back to you, it was meant to be.
But if it doesn't, it was never yours."
I think that phrase would be helpful in your situation, You've already let him go and he hasn't come back. If you want to wait longer to give him time to, you can.
But to me, the best thing to do is get over him and find a new love.
Goodluck!and i hope what i said helps xxx
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