A
female
age
30-35,
*j4
writes:i have been dating this guy for 6months now. and i really like him. I dont feel tho that he feels the same way. it some times feels like he only meets up wit me for oral sex. how do i stop this and make him actually love me? should i stop all contact with him and make him do all the work?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009): Stop blowing him and watch him blow you off- then you'll know that he's never loved you...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009): I agree, you just state how you feel and walk off and leave it up to him what do.
My feelings are though that if you haven't become a girlfriend, or someone he sees regularly and he is disrespecting you like that and you've been letting him, this is not going to go any further, at least I would be very surprised if it does. He is simply using you and I am sorry that you like him so much because he doesn't deserve it in my opinion.
I am just being honest with you here. If you want to keep your pride in tact, the next time he asks you to meet him, tell him no that you are busy, but you are available on x night to go to a show or what ever you want to do. If you can't pin him down to a date and a time then just move on.
Let him figure it out. I don't think with the way your relationship has been that you even have a relationship with him and having "the talk" isn't going to work or get you anywhere with him.
You reward him with distance when he disrespects you and you reward him with good things when he steps up and makes you a priority and treats you with respect. Stop giving him oral sex.
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (7 October 2009):
 You can't make someone love you.
You need to stop giving him oral or anything else sexual into you are in a relationship with him.
Explain to him how you feel about him and take it from there.
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, greeneyes21  +, writes (7 October 2009):
Hun, you can't make anyone love you. It isn't possible. On the other hand if you think he is using you then probably so. I would go about it one of two ways. You can stop responding. If you have enough self control talk to him some but be 'busy' when he wants to meet. Play hard to get and not completely interested. Or... You can tell him how you feel and he can take it or leave but you won't be treated that way and in order to keep seeing you needs to change. Guys don't like being told to change so id go with the first option and try it out. More than likely if your distant the second will come up anyways. But a word of advice? Never argue with him! State your feelings then WALK AWAY. Guess have a tendency of turning things around to where we feel like it's our fault when it isn't. Don't give him that chance. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (7 October 2009):
 If you think that something's wrong then it probably is. If you've been dating him for 6 months I wouldn't just cut contact with him, it's childish. I would talk to him, tell him how you feel and see what he says and does after that. If he is only using you it will become apparent but if he isn't (and he thought nothing was wrong) he'll make an effort to change things.
Just talk to him. There's no need to cut all contact. You're an adult and you guys should be able to talk about your relationship.
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