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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together over a year now. He is the first uncircumcised guy I've ever been with and I have had more yeast infections than normal over the past year (which I've heard is common with uncircumcised guys). My question is this...in the past month or so, my guy has been showering less (maybe once or twice per week) which has made me not want to have sex with him as much (for fear of getting another infection). How do I tell him that he needs to shower more (or at least clean his "area") without hurting his feelings or making him think that I think he's dirty? Reply to this Question
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reader, becky05 +, writes (1 July 2005):
Youll have to be blunt with him. suggest kindly each night that he has a shower if he refuses or comes up with some excuse, say to him "well, why not just have a wash down in the sink" at least hed be partially clean afterwards. If all else fails youll have to be cruel to be kind and tell him he stinks!
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reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (20 June 2005):
My daughter had the same problem with a boyfriend in the past.She tried every GENTLE approach to tell him how much it turned her off because he was uncircumcised & collected alot of hair & grit in the folds of his penis head. ( plus the smell was disgusting)He was TOO DENSE to get the message, so one day she decided to be BLUNT & straight forward.She lead him into the bathroom...got into the shower with him...showed him how to clean his penis (soap & cu-tips)and after that...everything was great !She had to remind him a few more times about personal hygiene...BATHE DAILY & consider the female's feelings !If he refused to shower...she refused to give him head.Simple as that !
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reader, Devil's Advocate +, writes (5 June 2005):
 Don't wash yourself for a couple of days and get him to go down on you. When he complains about it, say "Well do think it's like sucking a lollipop when I go down on you"?
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reader, kissandmakeup +, writes (5 June 2005):
Well I would first try and use the shower to your advantage. Maybe take your love making into the shower at first, and hope he gets some kind of a hint in that. Or you could be blatantly honest and tell him about the infections, say that you don't know where they could be coming from and try to get him to shower before sex (with you :)), maybe even add a few more ideas of where you think it's coming from so he thinks it's only a small possibility he's responsible. For example try to shift the blame onto yourself as well so he doesn't "come off" as dirty but as one of the few possible reasons why. He still might be a little upset about it but tell him you don't think he's dirty at all and you're trying to prevent any more infections, and you're also trying to save him! Men get yeast infections too! I hope all goes well :)
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reader, Hell14 +, writes (4 June 2005):
If he loves you that much just let him down slowly by just saying it would do you good to have a shower more so you can be refreshed when we see each other that way you don't hurt his feelings and he has a shower more often
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2005): Just say to him, 'I'm getting a shower honey because i feel a bit dirty.'He will then think I'm dirty I need a shower too.Hope this works.Spaz
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reader, mazza32cott +, writes (4 June 2005):
If you keep this going then the result will stay the same so you have to act on it. I would suggest telling him about your yeast problem and perhaps even saying that you have been advised by the doctor why this could be happening and then perhaps saying to him "please don't take any offence to this but my doctor has said that I need to ask you to shower daily to clean that area. This will also improve our sex life as I won't have so many infections then."Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2005): This is a hard one for most couples but once you've talked it through it will be fine.Simply tell him that you really love touching him & making love, but latley you have been getting alot of yeast infections.Tell him it has got so bad that you have been to the doctor & he advised you that if you are with a uncircumcised partner to both bathe daily & the problem should right itself.If that dosen't work, withold sex each time you have an infection & remind him what the doctor said.Good Luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2005): Boy am I glad that I am not in your shoes! Try offering to take a shower with him, or suggest he take a shower so you can wash his private areas and make a big deal about it. But special soap in the shape of a heart, buy a wash cloth printed with hearts, do this for a month if you can, and see if he sticks to it. If this doesn't work sit down and have a discussion with him stressing sexual hygeine. Lots of luck to ya.
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