A
female
age
30-35,
*ove?_9
writes:ive been dating this guy for almost a year now and we have gone threw alot i lost a baby with him and we live 2gether well he had told me about his ex and blah blah blah he said he almost married her and crap well i know i should of did this but i went threw his email and i found old old old message he sent to her about how much he love her and crap well he never really says stuff like that to me and i do think he loves me and all i just think he still in love with her i mean even if she cheated on him alot and stuff just the way he was talking in thos letter that feeling dont go away its been 2 year and all but im worried im wasting my time and when i asked him if he could explain how he loved me he said he didnt know how to explain it.....but he could write all that to her do u think i should just leave????
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female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (5 November 2009):
 You've been with this man for almost a year... ALMOST a year. He bought a house with you (such a big commitment can speak LOUDER than words). He says he loves you and he's happy with you.
I doubt he still feels this way for the other girl. That letter was written THREE years ago; two years before you started dating.
You want him to say more romantic things, and I understand that. However, you didn't feel this way until you read that letter... right? You would not be considering breaking up if it had not been for reading that letter.
Hindsight is twenty-twenty, but we should never ask questions if we do not want to hear the answer, right? Well, this applies to digging into people's private places, too. You should not have read the email, unless you were prepared to read something you wouldn't want to.
I think you are making this a bigger deal than it is. I would tell him that you wish he would say certain things to you; that you want him to say more romantic things, but if he doesn't leave it at that. You knew what he was like before you moved in with him and got pregnant.
If he is as young as you, he would have written that letter when he was about 15 - 19. He may not be that "mushy" romantic boy anymore. You should appreciate what you have. If this is your only beef, I think you have it pretty good!
Good luck, friend.
A
female
reader, love?_9 +, writes (4 November 2009):
love?_9 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe emails were back from 06. i know thats old, but i don't know, just it hurts to much to think he said those things to her then and he tells me he will not open up like that again. Then he tells me he loves me we have a house together and everything. I'm confused, i mean he says this is the best relationship hes ever had. He says i treat him good, that i do alot for him which i do but its like then why dont he say things like that to me?
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A
female
reader, Lola1 +, writes (4 November 2009):
How old is the email? Was it before getting serious with you? Can you explain how you love him? It’s hard to put that kind of thing into words... What do you mean you asked him to explain HOW he loves you? Are there different ways? Do you question if he loves you as a friend (only), sister or lover?
He hasn't cheated and you believe he loves you. He has chosen to be with you.
While I can understand how unpleasant it is to find the man you love say such things to a woman who is not you, that is a danger when we invade someone's personal space. Could he find things he would be upset about if he looked into your old emails (even if it is an online bill for spending too much)?
If you are THAT concerned, you should discuss the email you found with him, but depending on the age of the email, I wouldn't end a good relationship over it alone.
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A
female
reader, AskLadyJuJu +, writes (4 November 2009):
 no i think you need to talk to him about it.. theres no way to find out unless you tell him how you feel and whats going through your head.. if they were really old messages then i dont think there is anything to worry about and i would suggest leaving it alone unless he still talks to her or about her to you but hes not so i wouldnt stress about it..unless u suspect something..if you cant leave it alone and its still on your head then bring it to his attention on how u feel.. goodluck
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