A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a strange problem, awhile ago my girlfriend told one of her friends that i was a virgin when we first started to date. Her friend told all of my friends and to start with they laughed at me. Im now feeling that all my friends are judging me because of this, I really love my girlfriend and would like to have a long and loving relationship. I feel that my friends think im going to marry the "first girl i slept with". I know i shouldn't feel like this but, i didn't want other people to know my private life. Its making me feel like a huge loser especial when you see and read things on television and magazines that say.... things to this effect "being a loser" one quote "I bet you married the first girl who slipped you the tounge". I feel very low about this. I preffered it when my friends didn't know about this. Also the other night one of my mate said when we where talking about relationships "hey, at least you've had more than your right hand" and my girlfriend was sitting next to me but dismissed the comment. please help
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female
reader, Veasse +, writes (25 June 2007):
 Dont give in to pressure...
Who cares what they think? if they judge you they arent good friends!
I was a virgin till i was 25 and i'm not ashamed of it, My friends thought it was wonderful and i was an inspiration because i was waiting until i was ready! Believe me thats the best way... when YOU are ready, nobody else!
If your girl respects and loves you she will understand, perhaps she is proud of you for standing my what you feel is right and through that your and her "friends" have taken it too far thinking its funny!
If you have the strength when they start making comments again, tell them to grow up and that theres more to a relationship than sex, that will happen when its right and when you are both comfortable. no sooner and no later.
tell them to get over it!
hope you are ok, dont let it get you down!
Veasse x
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (19 June 2007):
 Your girlfriend is a ******. She violated one of the most important emotional needs of a man...to be a secret keeper.
Being a male virgin is not easy, but if your friend turn on you, then you have choosen very lousy friends.
Worse, you claim to love a woman that hurt your reputation (another of a man's emotional needs). That is not the sign of a man that respects himself. THAT might be why you choose to associate with people who make you a victim.
Dump her...or if you really want revenge..I suggest that you have sex with her, and dump her right after. Solve both your problems in one act.
And until then, do NOT tell her ANY of your other secrets.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2007): hey man, don't let some thing like that get in the way of your felings if you want to wait for the right gurl then do that don't let what other people say get in side your head and if your friends and gf wont support you in being who you want to be then mabe they are really your friends or you gf is just presuring you to have sex with her cuz she wants it cuz me and my bf had had sex already but we talked about it for a while and we have been dating for about 3 months so don't let your feelings get to you cuz you could make a wrong choice and you will regret it for the rest of your life well do what you have to do peace out
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2007): It shouldn't matter what others say compared to your girlfriend caring about you. Think of it this way you don't have to worry about disease or pregnancy. There are people older than you who are virgins (like me at 24). So just try not to let them get to you because some people will look for any excuse to put others down. Besides if they were really your friends would they be treating you like this? Do your best to ignore it and if they persist find a group of real friends to be with. Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2007): hiya sweetheart,
First well done you for sticking to what YOU WANT!!! It matters not what others want. I had the same problem when i was younger my friends laughing at me because of the same thing. In the end peer pressure got the better of me and i ended up pregnant at 16 well i didnt do that again untill i was ready...I really hate that word looser no one is a looser and because you are a virgin so what. I would not listen to my friends laughing and your girlfriend should not have said anything were is the trust? Be strong and dont let others get you down, Its your life and your choices be what you want and be happy... LOTS OF LOVE MANDY
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A
female
reader, laura26  +, writes (19 June 2007):
I married the first person i slept with. your only young and should like a nice guy and in the end the nice guys are the ones that win. there aren't many nice guys out there. And if your friends are judging you, there not your friends, i am sure your girlfriend is not worried that your a virgin, proberly relieved as you can take it slowly. you will also find that not all of your school mates have had sex, just bragging about it.
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