A
female
age
41-50,
*ATETHISFEELIN
writes:OK THIS IS ALL WIRED I NEED HELP!!!OK so my best friend's boyfriend an I have been having an affair for 5 years now, he's been with her about 7 years, and I been with mine ten years. We both love the sex he tells me he loves it when he's sleeping with me, I really wonder whether it's the sex he likes or does he love me??? We both know we will never be... also, we both have kids! I'm just confused. I really love him, I think about him more than I do my own partner, he is 13 years older than me? What do I do?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (27 October 2008):
 Stuff and nonsense, I think you know damn well what you should do. You just don't have the guts to do it. And you have kids involved in this quagmire as well. For their sakes grow a backbone and straighten this mess up.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2008): i am in the same situation with you.....im always thinkin about the other boy but what you really have to think is what if you didnt have the man your with now....i think that its best to keep goin the way your going or stop what you have with the other man becuase changing the situation that is workin may cause you to ruin not only one but two relationshipslet me know what happensgood luck
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A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (16 October 2008):
Do you understand that what you are doing is wrong? Do you understand how it would make your "best friend" and your boyfriend feel??? Do you understand the effects this will have???
Be honest with yourself, why are you doing this? My guess is that you are insecure, and 'need' that 'extra love' from another guy. Its like an ego boost. Maybe you dont feel loved from your bf. I dont know...only you do. BUt whatever the reason is, it doesnt justify what you are doing. Its very insensitive to everyone in your life.
If he really loved you and if you really loved him, then what are you both doing with other people and not together? You cant say you are afraid of hruting people, because by going behind there back, you are hurting them much much more. Perhaps you will say its 'for the kids'- but in reality, cheating with someone else is not best for your kid. Kids are smart, they pick up on things you probably dont realise they do. They deserve more then a parent who is cheating on there other parent.
If you dont want to be in this relationship with your bf, then leave him.
Dont worry about whether or not this other guy will leave your friend. If you choose to stay with your bf, then you really do need to be honest with him. And you need to be honest with your best friend.
Maybe they will both get angry at you and this guy your having the affair with. They probably will and maybe even leave you both...but you woudlnt think thats so bad would you? atleast you and your "lover" can have each other to yourselves.
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A
female
reader, Lilly Rose  +, writes (16 October 2008):
 Well for starters you don't have the right to call her your best friend as your not because no friend would EVER do what your doing. You really have to get in the real world...you both have partners and children, do you know how many people your hurt just for abit of good SEX....if your not happy in your relationship then have the guts to leave and not have an affair. Your both very selfish and should spend less time having sex with each other and work out why your doing this and see if you can fix your own relationships so that your kids dont have to go through heartache of seeing there parents go through a bitter split. Sit down and think is it really worth hurting your family over?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008): This is screwed up. Neither of you are married to your 'other halves' so why the hell carry on an affair? Because of your 'friendship'??? Cause I think you stopped thinking about your best friend the moment you went and had sex with her man. You have been betraying and backstabbing her for 5 long years....you are NOT her friend.
This is really selfish of both you and your bit on the side - you should wake up to yourselves and either end your affair or end your relationships. How long do you really think this current state os going to last? Especially if you are 'in love' with him? Talk about total cliche...guy loves the risky, feel good, no commitment sex while the girl thinks she does until she realises she's in love! You are now realising you want more but there's a part of you that knows he doesn't feel the same.
This has nowhere to go but MESSY my friend...sooner or later someone is going to find out, or you will make some ultimatum and he'll end it with you - whatever the case I think you're going to be left crying!
You two deserve each other!
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