A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:First let me appologise because this may be long but i really need advice because i don't know what to do anymore!i was in a relationship with guy i met in college, we were together for over a year and it was the best time of my life i really cared for him and i know he really cared for me too because he told me on many occasions how lucky he was to have me in his life and how he was prepared to do anything for me!he was the nicest most genuine guy i've ever met in my life and i was ready to spend the rest of my life with him i really loved him and i still do!anyway we were in our final year of college he was away for the previous summer so i was really looking forward to starting the new year as i figured we'd have all the time in the world to be together!the week before we went back to college he said we needed to talk- he said he didn't really have time for a girlfriend as his dad was ill so he'd have to go home at th wknd's to help out (which i would have been tottaly fine with)he said that i didn't seem interested anyway and that he was always making all the effort calling me, texting me etc (which is not true at all because even when he was away i'd text him regularly and send little packages to him of his favourite treats etc)he din't even give me a chance to speak he just broke up with me in the space of 5mins and left me there crying on the bench! since we were in college together it was so hard for me to see him everyday especially because everyone knew as as a couple(we even got the couple of the year silly i know looking at it now) so everyone kept asking me what happened and i didn't know what to say i was just shocked!soon after maybe about a month or so he started seeing this girl and partying all the time( this girl he was seeing ok i don't want to sound mean or vein-but she's not pretty at all or even a nice person as a matter of fact she's just a slutty party girl) so i couldn't believe it!there he was telling me he didn't have time for a gf and yet he was hooking up with someone else!anyway it's been a year and i still love him i can't move on-i've tried dating other ppl but i just seem to sabotage everything with everyone and no1 is good enough or compares to him!i know that this is wrong but i don't know what to do!i'm just so sad and tired and lonely!i still think of him everyday and i just don't know what to do anymore!thanks for reading this and for anything you may have to say i really appreciate it!xox
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey guys thanks so much for replying!i really appreciate it a lot!i guess time is the only healer or so everybody seems to say!i'm just tring to keep busy now even thou my heart is still hurting!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2008): Well, anon, this is a more common thing than you may know. At a certain time, some guys start getting concerned about being in a serious relationship. Graduation...and "adulthood" is coming closer. If guys are in a committed relationship, some start getting nervous. "What about work and career? How will it work out for me? She expects me to be settled and perhaps ready for marriage soon and what if I am not? ..etc., etc.. I think he is just looking for some good times and a 'fling with no strings' right now. You should not feel it is anything you have done. I can't give much advice, here. If you can't get over him, I guess you just wait and see if his "fling runs its string". You can't tell. But, I would not give it too long. You have your own life to think about.
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A
female
reader, Gem86  +, writes (23 November 2008):
 Aww hun Im sorry you're going through something like this. Unfortunately I dont have a miracle solution to this problem. The only thing that works in this situation is time. I know its been a year, but there are no rules as to how long it takes to be over someone.Im presuming he was your first love, and therefore you will always feel something. I suggest that you try to move on with your life. This is easier said than done I know, but maybe you could try meeting new people through work/college/hobbies. You need to get to the point where YOU make yourself happy again. Do something new, like a new hobby. Have a goal to work towards, like saving money for a trip somewhere. Try to get some happy things back into your life!! I think its only once youre happy and over the heartache of this relationship will you truly be able to love someone new. Have you got any close friends you can talk to about it? Im sure they'll be more than happy to listen and try some new things with you. Iam sure youre a lovely person who will definately meet someone else.I wish you all the best, try to keep smiling! Good luck :)
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