A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ever since I've meet my professor two years ago I've had a crush on him. I'm in college and majoring on the piano, he's my piano teacher as well as the teacher for a few other classes. At first I wasn't worried about it, this isn't the first time I've had crush on a teacher so I knew it would pass. However it never passed, then my teacher hired me as a student assistant, so as well as my classes with him I would work with him. This gave me the opportunity to get to know him better as a person, not a teacher. He's come to trust me a lot, he has other student assistant but I soon became his main one. After working for him a semester I found out that he also a small business owner. He's hired me to work for him outside of school kind of like a secretary... well a lot like a secretary. My feelings for him have done nothing but grow, up till now I've managed to keep them well hidden and our relationship strictly professional. But recently I've started checking him out in the middle of class when I'm working. And he's starting touching me more, every time he walks past me he'll put his hand on my shoulder or back in a relatively friendly way when he never use to. I don't think that's he's hitting on me, but it's not helping me any. I'm not worried about the crush because I'm positive that it's only one way. My problem is the fact that I am married. I love my husband don't get me wrong, but I can't get this man out of my head. It's gotten to the point where I know if he was to ever hint at us being more than just friends I wouldn't be able to hold back. We're often alone, being that he's my teacher I have privet lessons with him once a week, and I'm often in his office with him doing work to. Today we were working on something on his computer so obviously we were sitting very close to each other when I turn to say something. Instead of saying anything I just stared at him and checked him out. It was rather obvious but he didn't seem to notice, if he did he pretended not to. I think about him all the time... even when I'm with my husband. Am I wrong? Is there anything I can do to get over him? btw there aren't any other piano teachers at my school for the majors so I have to take his classes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey this is me again, the person with the question. I just wanted to add in the fact that my husband does know about this and keep tabs on me. He's not to worried because it's just a crush and he knows people get those all the time. I want to be thinking about him though when I'm with him, not somebody else. That's why I asked this question. Thank you to all of you for answering, especially Mrs. Anon, you've been very helpful.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009): I don't know how many of these people who answered are successfully married or even in a successful relationship.Temptations are bound to occur.Me and my husband have a rule."How ever tempted I am I would never take THE step."Married people or people in a committed relationship do think of other actors and actresses.The only difference in your case is you are meeting the professor in your real life.That makes it dangerous.
Things become common place in a marriage.This is the main change that you need to do.The first thing I want you to do is ask your husband out to lunch in your college.If possible ask your husband to pick you up and drive back together home some days.Start flirting WITH YOUR HUSBAND.Play "Remember When" games.Remember when we first went out on a date,first kiss,first session and so on.Remember Whens make you realize how much you love your husband and why he is your husband in the first place.The grass is always greener on the other side.Ignore the people who judge you.You are trying to be honest.You have asked for help here.That is score one for you.Crushes happen from time to time.Concentrate on something else.Dress up well for your husband.Find excuses to touch him often.
If you think(honestly) that you cannot resist the temptation find excuses to keep away from Professor.In spite of doing everything that I suggested and you find that nothing helps quit your job outside the college.
You seem intelligent.Lust is different from love.I hope you appreciate the one who is yours in every way.What if your husband has a crush?.Start worrying.You will not have time to think about the professor.All the best.
~Mrs.Anon
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A
male
reader, Jim01 +, writes (19 November 2009):
"but I can't get this man out of my head. It's gotten to the point where I know if he was to ever hint at us being more than just friends I wouldn't be able to hold back."
That's why i think you have to cut off all ties, and I don't think it's too harsh to say
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A
female
reader, meadowsweet  +, writes (19 November 2009):
i think those other answers are a bit harsh, its only natural to fall for other people from time to time, i dont have any answers but i dont think its immature, it doesnt get any easier when u get older, good luck with what ever you decide
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A
male
reader, Jim01 +, writes (19 November 2009):
I agree to the first response that you should not be married, but if you are serious about making this marriage work you have to cut off ties with the professor completely. Or atleast working with him and being a student assistant if that causes you to be there longer. But really, stop being immature and grow up. Your husband deserves better
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009): You shouldn't be married. Thinking about another man while married is a gross betrayal. Grow Up!
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