A
male
age
30-35,
*ayjay90
writes:Dear Cupid,I am a 17 year old male and I have done a terrible thing, something that I deeply regret and am ashamed of.About a year ago, a friend was having problems with her boyfriend and wanted to find out if he was cheating on her. So to cut a long story short we ended up making a fake email account and started talking to him on MSN and MySpace page using this really pretty girls' pictures.They ended up breaking up anyway over different reasons, but every now and again I would log in and many people will have sent me friend requests and stuff.Well a boy my age who lives a few streets away from me (who I have never spoke to in real life before, only passed on the street) got talking to me. The conversations just started out small but eventually I grew really fond of this boy and enjoyed talking to him, so I started using this account almost daily, just to speak to him.I started to develop a sort of crush on this boy, cos I really enjoyed talking to him - but I didn't understand how..I'm straight! (Let me say, I am not fat, ugly and spotty or anything. I get told how good looking I am all the time so I don't really have a problem in getting a girlfriend if I wanted one.)We spoke more or less every day for almost a year (him thinking he was talking to a really beautiful girl) and the feelings we had for eachother grew stronger and stronger even though we had never met in real life.I was very confused as to what was going on inside my head, afterall this was a boy I was developing these strong feelings for. I tried to stop myself from talking to him, but I couldn't. He told me that he was in love with me, I was all he thought about and asked me to meet up with him all the time. Obviously I couldnt.I felt the same back. He was all I thought about, I used to count down the hours in school til I got home so I could just talk to him.Eventually, nearly a year later, I decided that this had gotten too far, I couldn't go out with anyone else because he was all I thought about, and he said the same.I told him the truth. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but it needed to be done. He just kept asking for me to tell him who I am, show him a picture. I didn't want to tell him who I was, because who knows what could happen to me. I said I would meet up with him as I only lived a few streets away but said he didn't want to. He said he didn't want to speak to me no more and blocked me.I was devestated. I begged him not to stop speaking to me, after all he said before that he would never stop talking to me no matter what because he loved me too much. I told him that I didn't change my personality online, only the picture. I had asked him many times if it was the pictures he was in love with, or the personality and he got quite angry and always said the personality. I know what I done was terrible, but it was always me who he was talking to, not a false personality.I didn't really know what to expect when I told him the truth. He could have either blocked me and never spoke again, or like somebody said who I had been talking to on the net, he might look through that I wasn't the person in the picture and if he loved me as much as he said he did, he would see through it and want to do something about it. Or he could even just want to be friends or something.This all happened a month ago, I have messaged him 3 times asking him to please talk to me as I have a lot more left to say to him, but he didn't reply to them.I am left feeling really heartbroken and badly confused. Where do I go from here? I miss him so much. I think about him all of the time. I feel so guilty for what I have done to him and I feel so lonely now. Obviously I have learned from my mistake and will never talk to people as the girl again.I am sorry if I have angered anyone reading this. But I am just asking for help. :(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2007): I knoww how ya feel :( .......
Nd donn't b ass stupid as mee and hope he will talk to you again :( ......
He will take some time to process what has just happened.....
And you don't have the time am i right? .......
Tough! .......
If he's stupid enough to let you go...... Be smart enough to let hiim leave.....
Everythiing happens for a reason :( .....
Jus remember life goes on :D .....
Don't frown because its over :( ..... Smile because it happened.....
In the wrong way i must add :O lol
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2007): Well I must say you did the right thing as to coming out and telling him I know that would have taken a lot to do that but hun like you said you learn from your mistakes and you know if this didn't happen then you wouldn't have learnt anything and something much worse could have happened. You need to realize that this would have hurt him to not just you but him as well more then likely a lot worse, so you can understand why he's not talking to you. You need to move on because I highly doubt weather this guy will be coming back around you know? Start looking for some one who doesn't love you're profile picture but loves you being a girl or a guy there is some one out there for you who will love you for who you are. All I can say to this one is that you live you learn and you take life as it comes and yeah what you did was wrong but like before you learn from it and this will be a lession not to do it again. Out of it all I think this has or should make you a better person for it will make you more sensitive towards others feelings.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2007): im sorry but when it comes to gender, what on the outside matters just as much as whats on the inside! jsut cos u love someones personality doesnt mean you want their cock in ur arse!! mif u like each others personalities so much why not try getting to know him as urself (but dont tell him the girl was you) and then u can be best mates or summink!?
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A
male
reader, jm81690  +, writes (9 December 2007):
 Well, I think it's safe to say he's not going to bite the bait and you'd be best to move on and forget about it.
As far as you being straight, I think you've confused the definition man, sounds to me like you're gay, and the sooner you admit to that the better you'll feel, or maybe you're bisexual, but you definatley arn't straight.
He probably felt confused and kind of disgusted, he's straight and just found out all of a sudden the girl he loved was a guy, if that was me, I'd feel a bit weirded out by it all.
Don't try pushing boulders man, they won't budge.
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (9 December 2007):
 Ok your not going to like my reply and im not going to be horrble im just going to say what i think.
So first things first you made a mistake and you got hurt thats what happend when you lie you deceived him in a bad way and now he is hurt because everything he thought you were your not you may have the best personality in the world but he fell in love with what he thought was a girl and finding out that your not a girl was a huge shock and probably a disapointment. And not to put all men in the same boat but he may have told you what he thought you wanted to hear to get you into bed and now you told him your a guy he doesnt want to know.
But and this is a big but if he does like you and does generally love you then give him time and space to let him think about what he wants to do let him come to terms with the shock dont contact him message him nothing just give him his space and see what happens you never know he might get in contact but i do have to tell you DONT hold your breathe! But in the mean time you need to go out with your friends and have fun enjoy your life and try to move on as hard as it will be you have to try to forget him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2007): Well, first off, the boy you were talking to is probably just as confused as you. I mean, I would be confused if I really liked a guy (I'm a straight girl) on the net, and then found out he was a girl. Also, there is a grey area between being 100% straight and full-out gay... so you might want to look up some online sites about that.
If he is straight, he probably feels pretty weird about the whole thing. Although (no offense) the whole fiasco was started by you, don't take his anger personally. As I said, he's probably just very confused.
I know its really hard, but try to not think about him. Turn off your computer, unplug the internet, delete the profile, hang out with your other friends, talk to a counselor etc. Try to move on... don't beat a dead horse. Sorry, life is cruel.
Soon you'll meet a girl or guy who will love you exactly as you are, and not just for your profile picture.
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