A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 8 years, this is my 2nd marriage.We are a middle aged couple, she is in her upper 40's.For the main part of our marriage she has been a good wife, but she has seemed unhappy, her adult children all live overseas, and i know she misses them, she goes to UK and visits them once a year, she says she misses them but has regualr contact.She has always been overweight, and she is attractive.The last year she has changed a lot, she seems happier, has lost a lot of weight, she takes care of herself more now, she has her nails done regularly, something she has never done before, also she has changed her hairstyle, before she was blonde dyed, and very short, now she has grown it, is a darker brown with blonde highlights and a longer hairstyle.People at her workplace, our friends have all commented how different she looks, she has also started going to the gym, her weight loss is around 18lbs. she has bought herself new different modern clothes, new perfume, this is not the wife that i have been married to for 8 years.She spends ages in the bathroom, curling her hair etc.She listens to latin music, she was never interested in this before.I am suspecting she may be having an affair but i have no proof, she works in a workplace which is 95% women, her gym is for women only, she has few friends and to my knowledge rarely goes out, i work long evenings, so if anybody can offer me some advice or input as to why a woman can change so dramatically, so much so that everyone is commenting and saying how much younger and radiant she looks.I am concerned and it is true i do work long hours which givers her plenty of opportunity to do something.Her sex drive has increased, she wants more than i can give her and she seems more intense, before she was depressed and sluggish and could go weeks without sex, i also looked in her dresser and found a vibrator, plus new matching underwear.Am i being paranoid ?
View related questions:
affair, depressed, overweight, sex drive, underwear, vibrator, workplace Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (4 September 2011):
 Unless you have physical proof, let's face it you got nothing but a suspicion. Based off of what? Her changing appearance and more of an interest in sex? You got nothing.
I don't know of ANY husbands who would complain about their wife being too interested in sex and wanting to watch porn. In fact the number 1 problem in marriages is lack of intimacy. As far as porn goes, it's nothing but trouble on here. So count yourself lucky!
Still paranoid about it? Hire a private investigator if you don't have the time to spy yourself.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for your answers.However i do have this feeling there could be somebody else, yes she wants more sex, but there is a different dimension with the sex, she is doing new things, and seems more experienced, no i am not imagaining it, before she was never interested in oral sex, now she likes doing that and is expert at it, she also is watching online porn between couples, she is more distant in general.I only assume she is not going out in the evenings a so work long evening shifts and she only works part time. I am concerned because she has changed so much.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for your answers.However i do have this feeling there could be somebody else, yes she wants more sex, but there is a different dimension with the sex, she is doing new things, and seems more experienced, no i am not imagaining it, before she was never interested in oral sex, now she likes doing that and is expert at it, she also is watching online porn between couples, she is more distant in general.I only assume she is not going out in the evenings as I work long evening shifts and she only works part time. I am concerned because she has changed so much.
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (2 September 2011):
Unless she's cheating with a woman??? I don't think so.
How about she's reinvented herself with a new look and attitude!!! It sounds like she didn't have much self confidence before. Like the other poster said, your wife probably just pushed herself to make physical changes so she can feel better on the inside.
Instead of being wary, embrace your new and improved wife. Tell her that she's always been beautiful to you and that she didn't need to change anything about herself. Sometimes people just need to change what they don't like on the outside.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2011): I will not chastise u for being an observant hb.U have gone into details regarding her before and after situation. This means that she has done a 360. And yes it is a cause for concern.The weight loss is a big giveaway. The feeling of being emancipted, feeling young, sexy AND wanted. People who lose weight often find themselves the centre of attraction after losing weight. They love the attention. They feel wanted.All the signs of taking more care of her grooming may mean that she is dressing for someone else. Why don't u start taking interest in the new things she is doing. Like listening to Latin music. Take her dancing. Pamper her. Seduce her. Make her feel special. Show her that she's appreciated, she's loved and that she looks damn sexy! But still be observant. Be wise. If she is indeed having an affair then u are up against something. This may also be her mid life crises.BTW do u also take care of your grooming. Health? Weight? If u haven't then maybe its time to start.Goodluck
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2011): If she is happy with you and wanting more sex with you. Then she is hardly likely to have a lover. If she had one of those, she probably wouldn't be wanting more sex with you. She would be wanting less sex with you if anything.
It sounds as if you were quite comfortable with a large, sluggish, depressed wife who made few demands in the bedroom. And you are not quite sure what to do with this new version of your wife. Is she unintentionally taking you out of your comfort zone and making you worry that you might be losing her.
I can tell you from my own experience that losing weight can be very beneficial. It certainly made me feel healthier and invigorated. Then came clothes shopping which i hadn't enjoyed for ages! Next came the new haircut. These things are indicative of your wife finding enjoyment from things she had previously felt were denied her. That shouldn't automatically mean she is having an affair.
Rather than accuse her of anything, talk to her and explain how lovely she is looking and that you are worried someone might try and steal her away. You sound as if you need some reassurance.
...............................
|
