A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i feel so stupid now because yesterday i saw my soon to be ex husband, he was verbally abusive, cruel and sometimes physically abusive towards me and the children (all 3 dislike him and dont see him, they are all teenagers) i had not seen him since dec when he had damaged my car, for the first time i called the police and he recieved a fine and they told him to stay away from me. i then filed for divorce and he sent the divorce papers back to the courts saying not at this address. the courts still went ahead with the divorce and it is nearly over with. then a month ago i began recieving bills in his name to my address which i returned to sender. he possibly did this so i might contact him but i never did. yesterday i saw him near his parents house as i was on my delivery job and they live in the area, he was with a woman whom i suspect is the same woman he was seeing a few years ago when we split up for a bit. the reason i think this is because someone told me that she looked weird and this woman did. i then pulled over as i was shocked to see him and i said" why did you not sign ther divorce papers" he said "i want a divorce anyway" i then said "well your getting one" and i also said "and you should have told your solicitor what you have been up to" meaning the other woman. i then said to him "you have a grandchild on the way but not that would interest you anyway" and then he seemed to pause and said " no im not fucking interested so fuck off" which i was doing anyway starting to drive off. i wanted to tell him about this grandchild to like say to him look at the state of you your getting older now and your own kids are having kids of their own but you still are patehetic and immature, i was not in the least bothered that he was with someone else as he has to have someone to control and im glad that not me, but how could he talk like that? all im annoyed about is that i pulled over in the first place and spoke to him i should have not done that in case he thinks im bothered about him, how long will it take him to realize after this now that i really couldnt care less as i feel so stupid and i know how he works and he will think im bothered. i would be grateful for any advice as i am so annoyed with myself.
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female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (4 August 2008):
 Emilys right, the guy is a jerk, but jerks never think they're wrong so you are going to have to get over that and just feel glad its not you taking the hard time from him now.
Ive got a similar ex (doesn't sound quite as bad) good looking guy so he manages to surround himself with women (not even in a relationship with them) that tell him how great he is and apparently beg him to never change, so it feeds his ego even more than it already needs. Nothing you can do about it, and getting on with your life is the way to go. That alone will let him know you dont care.
C xxxx
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (4 August 2008):
Well you did antagonise him.
Rather than saying "Hi, just wondering, have you signed the divorce papers yet? Oh and in case you wanted to know, Jodie is pregnant." you said it by way of a put down, both about his girlfriend and his fathering skills. How did you expect him to react?
I know this guy is a jerk and you want to tell him that so he'll admit it and apologise but it is NEVER going to happen. What you have to do now is be civil to him. You are better than him so why come down to his level?
Good Luck!! xx
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