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male
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anonymous
writes: I've been with my girlfriend for over a year now. Before we met I got addicted to chatrooms, and soon discovered the thrills of cybersex and dirty talk. I became addicted to it and even went as far as indulging in webcam sex as wel. I couldn't stop when I met my girlfriend and I still went into chatrooms for dirty talk. I've stopped doing it now, because I realised it was wrong because I was in a relationship, but I'm riddled with guilt that my girlfriend has no idea what I used to get up to. If I tell her she may think I'm a sick pervert and dump me, but I'm struggling with a big guilt trip. Do I tell her about what I used to get up to, or not?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2005): I believe in being completely honest in a relationship but I don't think you need to tell her about your cybersex past. It happened "before" her time. Stop clubbing yourself with moral indignation and guilt over this or it will worsen. Realize, you are moving forward to a happier existence and really...what benefit will her knowing this do for your relationship? Absolutely nothing! Except put her on edge, make her always wonder if you'll do it again? You quit before you met her and I think this issue should've be laid to rest. Realize, we all do 'stupid' things happen in life, it is time to bury it and move forward. Take care, just relax and be happy.
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