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I stood her up as I froze from nerves, now she's spitting her dummy out of the pram!

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Question - (8 April 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 8 April 2008)
A male , *te writes:

hi all I hope you can help me

I was meant to be meeting up with a girl the other week and it didn't end up happening in the end because I froze, I wanted to talk to her but I couldn't if that makes sense?

Anyways she didn't talk to me for a couple of days, she also said that this has NEVER happend to her before and that it made her feel like "ergh" that she was horrible.

Can anyone explain to me why she spat her dummy out of the pram?? I know it's brief but I need a bit of help, cheers

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A female reader, x-kitycatlok-x United Kingdom +, writes (8 April 2008):

x-kitycatlok-x agony auntShe probably thinks it was all a joke and you don't like her! Imagine this: A girl waiting around for hours for a guy to show up, constantly thinking "what if this was all a mistake and he hates me. A joke by his friends. I'm not pretty enough for him. I'm not smart enough for him." Blah blah blah.

Being stood up is horrible! You feel bad about yourself, wondering what you did wrong. You need to explain what happened and let her decide whether she wants to see you again. You acted badly and need to fix it.

She was looking forward to something and you completely embarrassed her! And you're asking why she's mad?

Wishing you the best

xxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008):

Well can you blame her for being upset i mean come on dude you stood her up what do expect!! You need to tell her you sorry or you probaly want ever speak to her again!!!

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (8 April 2008):

Threw her dummy out of the pram??!

You stood her up and you annoyed at her for being angry with you?!

Being stood up is HORRIBLE and as she quite rightly says - never happens in normal life. You could have sent a text rather than leaving her on her own. She would have been sat there feeling humiliated for who knows how long. She probably put a lot of effort into getting ready and getting there on time, and had to sit there wondering if you were sat at home laughing at her. She probably could see people looking at her, feeling sorry for her. I wouldn't be surprised if she never wanted to see you again.

You need to do some serious making up.

Beg for a second chance and then go and pick her up from her place, with flowers. Text her as you set off so she knows you mean it this time. Then when you get to the place where you are going, explain honestly why you stood her up.

You are in the wrong here, not her.

Good Luck!! xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008):

Honey, you stood up, and thats going to knock anyones confidence. She's mad, but can you really blame her? You could have at least told her somehow, by ANY means of communication. There's always a way to get in touch with her. She made an effort and was probably all excited and looking forward to spending time with you, and then you acted like a jerk and let her stand waiting for you.

It's not exactly like you've murdered someone, but you can't blame her for being very upset.

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