A
male
age
30-35,
*r_pepper
writes:I'm in a huge tangled mess.Months ago, I asked a girl out. She said she wanted to say yes, but couldn't, because she had a girlfriend. But we didn't stop talking after that and became closer and closer friends. I never properly got over her, but accepted that nothing could happen and I had to give it up.Last week, I became attracted to one of this girl's friends, starting chatting to them a lot, and invited her round to my house to watch a movie. We both had a good time and she seemed to be interested in me too.Yesterday, I went to see the original girl, at her house, to help her with some tidying. She told me she wanted me and we ended up kissing each other, even though she is still in a relationship. The first person she told about this was her friend, the one who came to my house to watch a film. When I spoke to her friend later and tried to apologise, she was very friendly and acted like I'd done nothing wrong at all.Basically, whatever mistakes I've made, I know I can't pursue the first girl because she is taken, and am still interested in her friend. I have no idea what to do, and I've probably totally blown it. How does anyone think I should proceed?
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female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (9 June 2010):
 Oh dear I'm sorry that it's worked out that way. At least you ahve a definitive answer now though so you can move on and look elsewhere. Fingers crossed the next girl who catches your eye will not have the baggage that these two had.
Good luck!
A
male
reader, dr_pepper +, writes (9 June 2010):
dr_pepper is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have spoken to both of them, and this is what has been said. Girl 1 said she isn't going to leave her girlfriend, because even though she wants to be with me more, it would result in being shunned by her entire group of friends, who would know the reason why they split up and be angry with her. I know them fairly well and this isn't an exaggeration.
Girl 2 said she likes me a lot and thinks I'm a fantastic person. However, she said she could never settle for second best to girl 1, and that she is having similar troubles getting over somebody else, so that a relationship would be fair for neither of us.
So there you have it. Thanks for your reply
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum +, writes (9 June 2010):
Yes i see what you mean it is all a bit tricky. First of all I agree with girl num 2 you havn't done anything wrong so far as she is concerned, you two basically had a friends night together. If anyone is in the wrong it's girl num 1. I'd be careful about giving my heart to someone who is so willing to kiss another man behind her boyfriends back. Maybe girl num 2 is the one for you? Not really sure if i've helped here. Feel free to reply with more thoughts and I'll keep thinking too.
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