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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years now. I love him very much and we have recently bought a house together. Before we met he used to take cocaine. He knew that I was against it and so stopped... or so he told me. Over the years he sent me texts by mistake/ saw texts on his phone etc saying that he had taken it. He always managed to get out of it and I belived him. Recently I found out that he had done it again from reading a text he had sent on his phone. He denyed it. "I love you too much to do that to you" etc etc. I ended it but after a few days I decided to give it another go. Anyway, a month down the line I still think about his lies and am concerned that I will never be able to trust him again and if you dont have trust, is the relationship going to work? Will I ever be able to trust him again. I now think about what else he has lied about. Am really confused about what to do. I love him but he has hurt me and I don't think i will ever be able to forgive him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2007): i've been through something similar...i was with a guy for a few years and he was doing pills the whole time (oxys)...i knew that but i didnt know that he was the one stealing all kinds of money n stuff from me, my family n his family....he would con ppl into giving him money....i finally broke it off but then found out i was pregnant....i took him bak n he promised 2 go 2 rehab...he was in there 4 a week n said he would never touch another pill so he checked himself out...well he started again n it was worse...he stole all my money when we were living together...i left again but 4 good this time...hes been in n out of jail n finally after being in there 4 1yr straight he was off them long enough 2 quit....im telling you from experience as much as u want 2 trust him hes on drugs n he prob wont stop until he goes 2 rehab n FULLY recovers....i trusted him 2 much n it destroyed me when i found everything out...u cant help somebody if they dont want 2 help themselves...if he really cares about u n wants 2 stop the best way would b 2 go 2 rehab
A
female
reader, rammsteinfan  +, writes (28 April 2007):
 Good advice from floraltemptaions! It's hard to understand addiction when you haven't been there where your guy is. Thank God I haven't tried that drug that your bf is apparently doing. But I could compair it to the addiction to cigarettes..and I hear that they are worse to quit than drugs...I smoke and I have tried to quit several times!!
If you love your guy as you say you do, have him get professional treatment. And then have him find a support group in your area so he can feel like he's not all alone. And then stand beside him to support him because he will need it....Also find a support group so you can talk with other people who are in the same shoes you are! I wish you both the best of luck!! God Bless!
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A
female
reader, floraltemptaions  +, writes (28 April 2007):
First off, you have to understand what cocaine does to a persons physical being to be able to understand his lies. Having been in your situation before, and giving the ultimatum, me or cocaine.. it really hurt when he chose cocaine. But, no matter how much it hurt, I still cared for him and wanted to understand better, and to help him get through his addiction. Even if your boyfriend has only taken it a few times... it has addicting effects, that someone who hasn't taken it can never understand. You need to have a heart to heart with your boyfriend, get him to open up to you, and take your feelings out of the situation. Have an hour chat where he can completely open up and tell you everything without it hurting your feelings. Then.. you will have a better idea where he is at. If he still has a mild addiction, he needs to get professional help. And dont think that your support will be enough. Help him with his problem first, then work on your relationship. And keep the two separate. Good luck!
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