A
female
age
36-40,
*eb1018
writes:My ex boyfriend and I split up over a month ago. It was a mutual breakup saying we were just not working out. We loved each other a lot and have made it clear that we still love each other and that we had something very special. We decided to try the whole friend thing and that didn't work out very well. I made the first move to let him know that I think we owe it to ourselves to give it one more try. He sadly declined saying he loves me too much to get hurt again by another breakup. We had no contact for about a month after this. I woke up mothers day only to have a text from a number i did not recognize saying happy mothers day (my son is not his child)so i responded thank you but who is this. He responded with his name and asked how things are going with me and we texted back and forth all afternoon. What I don't understand is that why now after the dark cloud over my head was finally moving away did he send a message and break no contact? I still love him very much but if he doesn't want me then why the messages?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2012): dont over think it.. it was just a happy mothers day wish.. say thanks and let it go..
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2012): Seems you're not the only one finding it hard to let go.
I see no other explanation than that.
The real question here OP is what your next move will be. You don't work as a couple. You can't be friends because you love each other too much. What's your next move? Are you going to cut this off at the source and move on or are you going to play the long "casual texts" every now and again thing?
Forget why he contacted you and figure out what would be the best way forward here and if you do end up having to tell him that he can't be a part of your life anymore then so be it.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (16 May 2012):
 Don't read too much into the texts. It is impossible for him not to think of you on Mother's Day because you have a son. He knows that a relationship won't work out but he still wants to see how much you are thinking about him, but talking to him. If you truly believe you won't work out, then stick to that decision. You should totally enjoy yourself and have fun in a relationship, not try to work things out, and justify staying. It's the guessing that's keeping the game going. If you don't like this game all you have to do is stop picking up his calls. When you broke up twice, all the trust is gone, you will always doubt the relationship and question everything, his every word and intention. That's not a fun way to restart a relationship. Try no contact for life. We should mean what we say and be responsible for our words and not string people along.
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