A
female
age
36-40,
*airhalflin
writes:I'm sitting here in this party....its pretty lame. Yoù know I've been thinking aboùt how I'm feeling. I gùess I've noticed that for some reason I still hold something in my heart for my old fling. And I gùess also that I don't know exactly how I'm going with things....I miss him at times bùt I feel something weird for him....I hated the way thing ended and that he give me hope towards ùs being something. And me as stùpid as any girl coùld be....I keep looking ùp to it. I force myself to be cold and to not care. I don't pay any attention to him when I see him or when he sends me messages. I wanna know if I'm doing the right thing...I wanna know if I'm gonna be okay with everything and to know if everything is gonna change for my fortùne. Am I doing the right thing? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, maverick  +, writes (1 May 2007):
 Hey fairhlafin. You know I've just been through the same situation.
There's this girl at work I like still do. We were really close for a while then a motnh ago we drifted apart after she said she wasn't looking for a relationship.
I realised I missed over the month. I avoided her to kill off the feelings and let go but that didnt help. I was really messed up.
Today I had enough and I decided I wanted to talk to her. As she said herslef she thought I was great and that we "connected". So I was also confused.
I spoke to her today at lunch and decided to tell her all the things that happend between us and how I felt about them. From when we met, when we took dance lessons, when we went nuts in a supermarket, etc. Then how I felt now - standing in front of her. I didn't even say let be bf/gf or make any decision. I just wanted her to know.
As I went through the whole she started talking about how momnets made her feel. It ws weird but it gave us a common ground. In the end I realised she didn't love me, but I knew why and I was happy to move on.
You could try a similar approach? It's really ddifficult though. Tell him how feel from beginning to end.
You also say you are tired of a lot of stuff that won't go right? Are there other things?
A
female
reader, fairhalflin +, writes (30 April 2007):
fairhalflin is verified as being by the original poster of the question I'm not sùre exactly what I want...I feel two ways. I want to forget him if there's no hope at all. And I want to be with him and be happy having a relationship. Bùt I'm stirred into both ways and they both seem to make sense to me so I'm split in half. I'm tired of a lot of stùff that won't go right...I don't know. I'm so confùsed.
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A
male
reader, maverick +, writes (29 April 2007):
Hello.
I think I have a question for you. What is it that you want from him? Do want to be friends, lovers, bf/gf? Do you want him to go away?
Think about what it is you would like to have and then work towards it if possible.
You say he contacts you with messages - he has a level of interest in you. You don't pat attention to him when he's around and you cold towards him - you sound like your mad at him. Your behaviour seems to show you are angry with him for one reason or another. Did he not return your feelings? Do you feel used? Are you embarassed?
You ask "Am I doing the right thing?" - I am not sure what you are doing. You definatley sound like you feel something for him but could it be you want to stop the feelings and move on or do you want to develop a relationship?
Think about what you want then go for it. Things will work out better when you have something to aim for.
Good luck.
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