A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex cheated but I have forgiven him, and he has grown up since then. We both love each other and he is convinced we are meant to be together.I still have trust issues though. How do I resolve them? I feel especially insecure when his best girl friend constantly says she loves him. And is in constant contact with him. Do you think that is okay? He assures me it is nothing, but there are some days I just want to lash out! What do I do!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlrighty, thanks. I guess I just need to write that down on my hand and drill it into my brain! It's not going to be easy. :(
A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (12 August 2008):
 Don't try to be the only friend for you BF, let him see other people.
Well I know this guy who used to be all over my ex, didn't really caused any trust issue. She could have gone with him if she would have liked too, but she didn't because she loved me.
If someone wants to cheat, he's going to do it even though you trust him or not. So why the worry?
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A
female
reader, RitzaD. +, writes (12 August 2008):
 Okay so there may be times where u want to take the best friend and just rip her apart I bet. I would be feeling the same way if he cheated on me. Its not like u trust him 100% again right? Well he should know that. When my bf did his childish crap, it was hard because he lived with the girl, and I couldn't believe it cause she was my friend. What a whore. But it happens to a lot of us. I forgave him and constantly I would bring it up, and acuse him of still doing it, after I would be mad the whole day.
I was convinced to make his life miserable, but In time it took the pain away, he moved out and it made things so much better. Things were real good till I realized I didnt love him anymore, and he was so deeply in love with me now.
I guess it was karma on him. So I moved on and he sometimes still comes around but im so over that.
So Tell him that to give u time to be able to put it behind, and that by keeping such contact with his female best friend isn't helping u at all but just making it worse for u. Tell him to have some space between them two for a bit, untill u feel a little better, im mean its the
least he can do after cheating.
I know it might be hard for u not to keep bringing it up, and when u think about him cheating it pisses u off. Simply because u forgave but didn't forget. It would be nice of him to keep reminding u that he loves u and that he will never do it again, and to state reasons of why he will never do it again.
If u really want to be in this relationship and make it work, ur gunna have to live with it and just put it behind. It takes time im sure, but patience too.
Goodluck and stay strong.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI did set him free! We broke up and are thinking of getting back together again 2 years later. I don't think he is cheating as we aren't even together yet.I just need help learning to trust him more and to be less insecure.And how do I deal with this younger girl who is all over him?! He says it is nothing but she is constantly saying she loves him and I don't really like it...
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife +, writes (12 August 2008):
If you love somebody, set them free. If they return, they were always yours, if they don't, they never were.
The more someone feels like he's in a prison, the more he'll want to get out of it.
Just trust him. If he cheats, leave him or something. What if you leave him and he wasn't cheating?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2008): This is completely normal
your man should have you on a pedistool the fact that you took him back shows how much you love him and you have every right to have trust issues his best girl is probably nothing but you have to explain to him how you feel and tell him that if he wants to be with you he has to prove hell never cheat again x good luck
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