A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What should I do to put my feelings to rest?This is a story of one of those long drawn out confusing crushes where nobody makes a move...Around 2 years ago I met this fairly average nice friendly guy, that through a set of coincidences I ended up working with closely for around a year and half. I knew he liked me a few weeks into first meeting him, he was really obvious with his flirty comments and body language bless him, but I wasn't really looking for a relationship and wasn't interested which I think he realised so then he backed off.BUT then we ended working with each other again, this time we saw each other constantly almost every day and I ended up liking him... a lot! And just when I thought we were getting somewhere he went and got himself a girlfriend!I didn't understand, because I knew he liked me a lot and I did too but neither of us seemed to be able to get past the "friend" stage, partly because we worked together so closely and I didn't want to start anything heavy with someone I saw everyday but also partly because he would make hypothetical comments about how it would be if me and him went out but never actually asked me out!When he first got his girlfriend he tried really hard to hide her from me, people were making comments to him about this girl and when I asked who she was he just gave me vague answers, and I didn't know he had one till she came to a work meeting and knew my name!Anyway I still see this guy fairly regularly but we don't work together anymore, and my feelings are still quite strong for him, I also know I will be working with him again in a few months.I don't know what to do... should I tell him my feelings, will it make a difference? I'm not sure if he lead me on, so should I be angry? I don't want to mess up his relationship with his girlfriend but I also feel there's a lot of unresolved issues between us?...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): I don't know how strong his feelings are for his girlfriend, they've been together for less than a year. I'm starting to resign to the fact they are serious.
I'm just sick of the loaded conversations and exchanges that makes me think he still wants to be with me, I just want to put my feelings to rest and move on... I've turned another man down because I couldn't get over this guy...
A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (14 December 2010):
 Oh boy, do I know your dilemma. Only too well.
He wasn't leading you on. He was interested. When he figured out that you weren't he tried to move on. He was hiding the fact that he had someone from you because he was still interested in you.
With regard to his GF, there are two likely possibilities. 1) He really found someone he loves and who makes him happy. 2) She's a place holder until the one he really wants (you) comes around. You need to prepare yourself for either possible outcome should you decide to tell him your feelings.
You can't help what you feel. I wish every day I had the courage to tell my crush how I feel, but I don't. It's a miserable feeling that doesn't get better.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/paralyzed-by-not-knowing.html
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