A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How do i cope with this. Im totally confused about my feeling for my ex. Do i still love him? Dont i? I spent 3 yrs of my life chasing this man it wasnt really a proper relationship but i was besotted with him! We were on off all the time i wanted more than just the odd wkend here and the odd nite. It was like on his part everything like a relationship but no commitment! He was a womansier and a charmer before me. A typical bad boy that i thought i could change and he said he wanted to change but didnt! On our various spilts when i was getting too close he went off with other girls then came running back to me after a few wks begging forgiveness,realised what he lost etc. And i believed everything. But when we were together he always made me jealous talking bout the other women he could get. Hes the ultimate male. And while he did this he run me down, called me fatty, called my mum a witch! Etc along with other hurtful comments. But with me losing my confidence self esteem i clung to him. He was horrible to me! But i fell in love with his charm as we did have nice times together but more bad times! I havent had any contact with him in 10 months ive had a short relationship but it just didnt work. I havent found that feeling that i had 4 him. Im a single mum i feel ive been on my own far too long now. Im so lonely. I hear today that he is now engaged! I hate that that he seems to be happy now! As deep down i wanted him to finally realise i could give him anything! Im thinking what they do together what shes like? I hate it im miserable. My friends didnt like him for what he did to me i had to go to counselling tn get better. Hes so wrong for me. Treated me badly. But im jealous. When i was with someone i hardly thought about him. Now im on my own again i just keep thinkin what ifs all the time! Help?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (30 March 2010):
Why is not clear to you that this is finished? I empathise with you that so often we grieve about the past I guess it is human nature. We allways get stuck on the what might have beens, or what if we tried again?
Relationships like those of us in them are full of good intentions, hopes and dreams. I have been through a split after 29 years and just now there are 3 couples I know doing the same and one of the ladies is ever so sad, it hurts me.
There is no way out you must forget him an focus on the future. Things will happen for you but they will not happen yet as you are not ready, please let go!
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