A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I fell deeply in love with my (now ex) boyfriend of about a year. I've had many boyfriends before him but I didn't feel as strongly or as devoted to any of them as much as him. I feel like could have stayed with him for many many years and I felt like he was "the one" (but I know very well that I was probably wrong). We had good times but he was not very in love with me and I was in denial about all the signs. Even our friends saw the way he treated me and said something about it a few times. He didn't really hold me or kiss me often and he just had a very nonchalant attitude towards me. I was very depressed during our relationship because I was always wondering if he loved me back, but I tried my best to not show him how he affected me. So about 2 months ago, he dumped me because he no longer had any feelings for me and he wanted to be single. It completely broke my heart but I did my best to act like it didn't affect me that much. Now I don't think about him too often and I actually have better mental/emotional health, self esteem, etc. now that we're not together anymore. But some nights, he pops into my head and I just break down (such as tonight). I also feel a strong sense of hatred whenever I see him, and he tried hard to be my friend after the breakup but I sorta snapped and told him how much it bothered me when he talked to me or interacted with me on Facebook, and told him how crappy I felt during the duration of our relationship, and asked him to please stop contacting me. So he blocked me on Facebook and we haven't said a single word to eachother since then. I feel like I might always have feelings for him and that really scares me. We weren't really compatible in terms of intelligence and maturity and he didn't treat me very well so I have no idea why I still have feelings for him when he really doesn't deserve it. I just want them to go away. I have been dating someone but we're taking it quite slow. From what I can tell so far, we are compatible in terms of intelligence, interests, and personalities. He is really good to me so far and I feel like I could fall for him but I'm still a bit reluctant to get myself involved in a full-on relationship again. And I feel very wary of giving my heart to someone. When am I gonna cease to have any feelings at all for my ex? And is there anything I can do to speed up the process? Because I hate feeling like this. Thank you
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2014): These feelings will go away, you just have to get used to the fact that he's an ideot and doesn't deserve you. you could try and get your feelings out. write them on a piece of paper. Or you could just try to talk to a friend or someone else you feel close with. it's always good to talk to someone or write feelings on a piece of paper. i often write them on a piece of paper. then, i get one of my guitars or my music keyboard and make those feelings in to sentenses and then in to music notes and finally, in to songs. of course, you could do something else with them. write them in to a poem maybe. or you could not do anything. you just have to pour your heart out to someone or a piece of paper. i hope this helps, and you will get over him. you could even talk to your current bf, and tell him you're a little wary about selling your heart. carry on taking it slow. good luck x!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2014): I didn't read your entire post but I will give you the three pieces of advice that I give to my friends. These are the things that helped me get over my ex.1. Don't contact him AT ALL. I know you said you haven't been in touch, and that's good. No talking, no texting, no facebook.2. Get rid of ANYTHING that reminds you of him. Delete ALL the pictures, get rid of any gifts, throw away the notes (or burn them, if you feel so inclined. that can be a bit cathartic!)3. Make a list of everything about him that bothered you. Every mean thing that he said that hurt your feelings. Every stupid thing he did. You already gave us a bunch in this post--he didn't act like he cared about you, there wasn't much physical contact, etc. etc. Write them ALL down--I bet you'll have a hundred things in no time.Now, read this list every day, and any time you start miss him. Pretty soon you won't miss him anymore!! It may take a month or two but I promise it will help :)
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