A
male
age
51-59,
*s
writes: My girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me for being dishonest. On the night before we broke up, we had sex with the understanding that she was still on the pill, several days later she informed me she wasn't and she was pregnant only to miscarry. After saying that we were about done and I was hanging on by dental floss she started seeing another guy. Even while seeing this guy, she had me down for my birthday and for valentines day and we took our kids on a trip for a day. When I found out/got suspicious she told me we were not dating and things got nuts. A week after valentines day contact was broke. On April 4 she calls and asks me for a ride home and I did the favor. Next night I gave her a ride out and she rode home with me again. This led to us spending the next two days together with her son. Ever since, we have had at least 3-4 hours of phone conversations per day and have been out together twice while hanging at her house when she has her kid. I know that she is back on the pill and it bothers me because we have not talked about anything--I understand she may want to see if I am different now, but she knows that I still have feelings for her and she has shown no romantic interest but to hold hands one night--is she wanting to get back,playing games, or just confused and lonely?
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female
reader, mskate +, writes (22 April 2008):
She broke up with you for Your dishonesty? if so, she probably needs some time to get over the dishonesty. but it doesn't mean that she doesn't love you.
men often think that "romantic interest" is only about sex. but women crave intimacy - holding hands, sitting together and enjoying quiet time together, or doing family things - these are all intimate activities that she wants to do with you, because they are also opportunity for her to grow trust in you.
if you love her, show her that it's not all about sex.
in regards to the other guy that she may or may not be dating- there's not much you can do about it. you are not her boyfriend now and you have no right to stop her from seeing anyone. however, if you want her back, you should be there for her and give her the love that SHE needs (not the kind of love that YOU want, i.e. sex). hopefully she will see that you have changed and will get back with you.
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