A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have absolutely no confidence in my appearance at all. I avoid looking at myself when im out, because it makes me feel so horrible and just want to go home. I look from every angle possable and try to only look at myself in the mirror at home because I look better due to the lighting etc.. Its ruining my life at the moment, I've recently become single after a longterm relationship and have no confidence with other girls, or even people in general because I feel like I stand out when im out anywhere I go because I look so horrible and ugly.I cant handle feeling like this all the time anymore, I dont know what to do, please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): Breakups are always tuff, and can last for many months until you gain your confidence again. It will take time. Reviewing the past for mistakes and achievements will help you recondition yourself for the future.
The mistakes will help you adjust so that you don't repeat it again, may need to take a class or something.
Achievements will help identify yourself as someone unique and valuable to the world, and also help cheer you up. Writing songs, playing the guitar cheers me up. Also listening to certain music from my teens helps cheer me up. Reading books or certain old movies also lifts me up. It kind of gives me hope that I can have this again: happiness.
It sounds like your punishing yourself, not able to see yourself. Don't be to harsh on yourself, we all make mistakes, we just have to accept this fact, and that it helps mold us into someone better. Learn to laugh at your mistakes and then say "what was I thinking", adds a bit of relief to the situation.
Take care.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): Try looking at yourself from within first. Confidence comes from within. Why the breakup? I'm thinking that you let that breakup consume you emotionally. I think you should stop worrying about how you look. If you're that unhappy looking at yourself then try buying yourself a new outfit and ask the store clerk for advice on putting the outfit together. Then just go out and have a good time with some friends. Don't let low self esteem make you lose out on whats ahead, remember beauty is only skin deep. CLEANSE yourself from the inside first the rest will follow. GOOD LUCK!
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