A
male
age
30-35,
*ma soccer player
writes:hey my ex broke up with me 2 months ago and we were together for 1 year and a half. Tomorrow is the last day of school. but she completely changed. now all she does is hang around the people I'm jealous of, she sings a lot now and she only sang in front of me, she still looks at me when i catch her looking at me, she talks about guys in front of me and I still Love her, she talks about silly things now and laughs at the stupidest things. The point is she is not the person i fell in Love with, well she asked for her bathing suit and that's it. none of the notes, drawings, nothing. and when she and i fought she would give me back the jewelry i gave her and now she kept it. she still has my socks though and my shirt and my tie. And one week after we broke up she was dating this guy. at first he told her to fix things with me, but when i was angry because she left me by self and went with him on a retreat instead of helping me and her mom at a yard sale. i got mad because she said she was going to the yard sale. also on face book she liked a page that said this "i don't get jealous of my ex because my parents taught me to give away my used toys to the less fortunate". that hurt.Then a week ago when she and I were in a group she said this : "i feel like i have a life again". and when a friend of mine asked her why she broke up with me she said "he had it coming". and that hurt the crap out of me. she broke up with me because we had a lot of communication problems and a lot of work so we couldn't be together, and when we were she would choose her friends over me. she broke up with me because she said she didn't love me anymore. what do i do? please help would be greatly appreciated since I Love her and just want her Back
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female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (10 June 2011):
 Please?!!! Let her go...
I know you've been together 1 1/2 year, that you still love her, but is more attachment.. You're used to have her in your life, change in any circumstances are uncomfortable and difficult. Right now is very hard for you, but it'll get better...
Why do you want her back? You said yourself, she's not the person you felt in love? People change and is part of life. I don't want to be judgmental, but she's very immature?.. Fine that she has moved on, she's happy, whatever, but the fact that she tries "so hard" to show to you makes me wonder? Is she really happy?.. "Life goes on"
Concentrate in your life, finish school, do the best you can... Getting hurt is part of life" life has just began for you.. You'll meet lots of new people in college, fun has just began..enjoy college years, but never let interfer w/school.
She's not the same person anymore, she's not a good person to say things that is so hurtful. Why do you want to get back together w/a person like that? Why would you even want to be friends w/someone like that? You want to have a sweet, kind, good heart girlfriend. Smart, fun, someone you can grow up together, learn from ea/other. Be together w/someone that makes you happy! :-)
I know is hard, but she has moved on, she's not the same person. So the best thing to do is to stop thinking about her anymore, don't let her hurt you more..don't try to understand her actions, don't make sense anyways and who cares?.. Make new friends, continue enjoying your sports, do new activities, show her that you also have moved on and that you are happy, but do this for yourself...
Good luck!
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (10 June 2011):
 sounds like she's not over you yet. far from it. for her to still be outwardly making snide comments for you to over-hear at school, and liking comments like that on facebook tells me one thing. she's trying to hurt you because she's not over you. she's acting like a child though. but yeah, she's still holding on to the relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): She really doesn't deserve you bud..
I know that will be hard to come to terms with, but you need to cut ties with her. She seems to not care at all of your feelings, so shouldn't even deserve your friendship. You really can do better than this.
It will be hard, but if you stop reminding yourself of her all the time, ie texting or communicating, seeing her, etc then you will continue to hurt. Over time it will get easier and easier and then before you know it one day you won't even think about her in day to day life! :)
Good luck, I know it's hard.
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A
female
reader, MissTellAll +, writes (10 June 2011):
 She obviously doesn't care about your feelings. If you did get her back, would you really be able to trust her and forget all of the awful things she has done?
She, from what you described, has changed from the person you once loved. You don't miss her, you miss who she used to be and pining after someone who isn't there anymore is neither healthy nor fair to yourself.
You best bet is to cut contact with her. You may feel like losing her means 'you can't go on' or what have you, but you need to realize you are better than the games she is playing.
And (this part may hurt) when a girl breaks up with someone it usually isn't a spurt of the moment thing. She probably had her reasons (whether they were right or wrong I do not know) and though about it a LOT. When someone sets their mind to not being with someone it takes a lot to get them back. From where you're at getting her back would be futile because she isn't worthy of all the effort it would take.
Let her go. Good luck
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A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (10 June 2011):
Why do you want to be back with someone who doesn't love you, treats you badly, and has completely changed from the person you used to know? Is it because "you love her"? Relationships require two people's love, not one, you can love her but you can't have a relationship with her, not with the way things stand.
Rather than trying to get her back, you should spend your time being sad that she doesn't love you any more. For a while. Then you can let the sadness pass, and find someone to give your love to who loves you too. When you love someone and they don't love you, it hurts, its ok to be hurt, but it doesn't make sense to try and chase someone who doesn't want to be with you. Find a way to be happy again on your own, be able to enjoy your life on your own with the other people who love you, family and friends, and love will come your way again.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (10 June 2011):
 OK, this is hurting because you aren't allowing the breakup to finish up cleanly. She's not coming back, and after how she's acted, I'm not sure she deserves to. Maybe you love her, but that love is misdirected. There are worthier girls out there.
Besides, I know it hurts to hear, but there's nothing you can do to get her back.
Stop checking her posts on facebook. They will only hurt you. De-friend her if you have to, but in any event, social media should not be having that kind of effect on you. Forget about the possessions you both failed to return to each other. Small price to pay to be rid of the distraction. If she's dating, singing for, or hanging out with other people, put it out of your mind and find something else to do.
What you should do is get comfortable as a single guy. When you're ready, find a new girl. Learn from the experience with this girl - if you had communication problems, try to get it right next time. If you handled the breakup poorly, handle it better next time.
By continuing to obsess over this lost girl, you are giving her power over your heart and emotions that she neither deserves nor cares about. Give your heart to a girl who will treat it right. They're out there. Good luck.
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