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I started dating my ex's friend; now my ex doesn't speak to us and is calling me a slut

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 July 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 24 July 2007)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

my ex broke up with me in Dec after a brief 4 month relationship. very shortly after our breakup, i was out and I met one of his friends that he talked about all the time, but Id never met this friend..me and my ex's friend hit it off right from the start and we've been going strong for 6 months. we told my ex about us out of respect (plus we all work at the same place). my ex doesnt speak to me at all now and he barely can look at his friend and speak to him. i found out that my ex cheated on me throughout our whole realtionship. recently i learned that my ex has been calling me a slut behind my back. is this right?-consdering he was the unfaithful one?

View related questions: broke up, cheated on me, my ex

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A female reader, skye United Kingdom +, writes (24 July 2007):

skye agony auntI really feel for you on this one. We have all been in a situation where someone cries off in a huff. Unfortunately for you, you have to work with this big baby! Sounds to me like you are far better off without your ex. First he cheats on you, breaks up with you, behaves like a child when he sees you happy and dumps his friend in the process! He did not want to be with you anymore, he does not have the right to call you a slut!

If it is really upsetting you ask your boyfriend to speak to him with you. Tell him that you have both moved on and are happy together. Remind him that your boyfriend was once his friend and you thought he would want to see him happy. That you do not deserve the names he has been calling you. Do not loose your temper and yell at him. Keep calm because you havent done anything wrong here. You were only together a short time.

You and your new man did the adult thing by telling your ex about your relationship. You are both happy together. Leave your ex to his own devices. If he wants to be nasty and cruel, let him. You are faithful and happy with your new man. Let others see you both this way, then your ex will be percieved for what he is...spiteful.

Good luck

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (24 July 2007):

kenny agony auntHe is your ex, so what does it matter what he thinks of you. He is calling you a slut, what right has he got to say anything as he was the one who was unfaithful when you were going out.

I think he is maybe jealous that you are dating his mate. So what, you are within your rights to date who ever you want. Your ex plays no role in your life anymore, so what he thinks or says means nothing.

If we all went around worrying what Ex's say behind our backs would drive us insane, drop it and get on with your life.

Good luck x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2007):

It sounds as though he is jealous, he had a good thing and blew it!!! In all honesty does it matter what he thinks? there are always nasty people no matter where you are. Its great that you and your partner are going strong, if its cousing a problem then, then talk to the ex together or wise write the ex off and enjoy what you have now. and as for the ex... what goes around comes around. Good luck!

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A male reader, Uncle Trev United Kingdom +, writes (24 July 2007):

It seems he has the problem more than you. I detect a bit of jealousy here as well.

The best way forward here is not to show you're bothered with this. If anybody confronts you about it then come straight out and tell them you met up by chance with your present b/f well after you broke up with your old b/f and it was your old b/f that was playing away - not you.

Personally though I wouldn't even bother confronting them back - you know that you have been correct in what you have done so raise above your ex's pettiness.

It sounds as if you have gotten yourself something very special and nice so the best thing you could do now is enjoy what you have and just smile at those small minded gossips around you - it will make them wonder what you have been up to and get them even more jealous.

Let the green eyed monster eat them all up and carry on havin fun and enjoying your life.

You will find the malicious gossip will stop just as soon as you show you are not affected in any way by it.

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