A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:so i have been seeing a guy frm work for about a year now, we started off as really good friends and we confided in eachother with everything... As time went on we become very close and basically could not go a day without seeing or speaking to eachother... Over the last year we have fallen madly in love, have everything in common, and cant get enough of eachother...the only problem is - hes engaged.It has been wrong for both of us, and i know he is going to go ahead and marry his fiance... he feels like sh*t, i feel like shi*t and basically we both think our lives are f**ked.The other day i put an end to this whole dilemma and now its time for me to move on, and its time for him to go back to his fiance - he tells me he doesnt know if he will be able to fall in love with her again...So a week has gone by and its killing us both. He is very disappointed by the way im handling the whole situation - i have been really cold towards him because i feel its the only way we can both move on. Its killing me so so much but i dont know what else to do.Please help.By the way we both work together.....
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male
reader, quarky  +, writes (29 July 2007):
 This may sound bad but in line with the previous answer, he sounds like a loser, a player. What you've done by trying to end it, I think is right (although it must have been painful for you, I know). I bet if you stick to your guns, he'll lose interest. It won't be easy, you just gotta do it. Guys like the feeling of still being attractive/wanted by other women even tho' they're in a relationship and I think that's what's happening here...not good for you or his fiancee.You're young, and there are no doubt better guys out there y'know - move on to better things kid!
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (28 July 2007):
 That last bits not good. Any way you can get a transfer somewhere else? I feel sorry for his fiance, she is none the wiser and is heading to be married to a lying cheat. That makes me feel sad.He has no intention of leaving her by the sounds of it. Hes getting his cake and eating it, of course hes disappointed in you now, you have stood up to him. But i dont think you will for long. You're still in contact with him and i think your trying to make him choose at the moment.You will be the one that ends up getting hurt. She will too, because she will find out eventually. People always get found out. But its her i feel for.Attached people are a no go. Its a shame not all people keep that in mind.And remember, if in the unlikely event he does leave her, he will do the exact same thing to you some day. 99% certain.C xxxxx
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