A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i met lucy 12 years ago just after I split from my first wife she helped me through a messy divorce. We have had a steady relationship, just the odd argument here and there. Until now we have got 2 kids one boy who's 8 one girl who's 1 and a half. Unfortunately we had problems where we lived which was rented accommodation off the council, we moved in with her parents and that was a big mistake. At first we got on okay but after 2 and a half years it started to get to me. We're waiting on a housing list but stress from work didn't help or debts which I buried my head in the sand so everthing got on top of me. One day I had an argument with her dad but I stopped myself short because he suffers with his heart so I guess I sulked for 3 days cos I didn't want to upset him anymore but all her familiy turned against me because I wasn't talking to him but I guess I was feeling guilty for almost stressing him out, even though myself I was stressed out. My girlfriend told me to talk and what was the problem, I said none but I guess there was... I couldn't live there anymore so her mum had a go at me so I told my girlfriend it is best if I go so I moved back in with my mum. This was the end of January. I guess the strain was on both me and my girlfriend. I should have appoligized but it was hard, we seen each other at weekends with the kid, we would go out and she would stay at my mums with the kids. This went on for 3 months until her dad accused me of doing something which I didn't do which spoilt the reationship further until 2 weeks ago she refused to come down to my mums because she couldn't be picked up by my dad. Well I just exploded, said some nasty things and that was it until 1 week later it was my son's birthday, I picked him up with my dad outside her mum and dads house took him to my mum and dads. All my family were there to wish him happy birthday. Anyway we took him back but was 10 mins late cos we had to drop off my sister and neice so when we arrived at lucy's mums house she was not happy, I could see this, I wanted her to sign a slip from the bank to remove her from our account but she refused. I was getting wound up so when her dad come out I exploded in rage just swearing at him and shouting at him. All hell broke loose so I got off with my dad. I feel ashamed of my actions cos not only did I spoil my son's birthday that put the nail in our relationship which I hoped we could have sorted it out. I feel so lonley without her and the kids, I suffer with deppresion but have not really done anything until now as I have been to a doctor to get me sorted out which I am sorry I never did this years ago, I miss them and cant live without them.
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female
reader, aunty jane +, writes (9 May 2007):
 It sounds as if things are hard for you especially when her parents are saying things to her also....
you should write her a letter and expalin how you feel and that things would be easier if you both had your own place.
Ask the doctor to give the council a letter ,this may help with getting accommodation ....dont give up trying. the council should help you more now as you re a family living appart.badger the council every week they will soon get fed up and offer you something..
its great that you have been to the doctors,maybe you should go back and ask if you can have some councilling it really does help...
talk to your partner and even get her parents to look after the kids so you both have quality time together,make sure you keep her updated to what you are doing ie going to docs and hounding the counil
hopefully you two will sort things out
make sure you talk to your
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