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anonymous
writes: need advice,split up with my girl friend of 4 years 2 weeks ago, a decision we both made but i sugested it, all though it was very hard for me. but now i know how much i love her and want to get back with her.I have told her this but she is unsure at the moment and says it doesnt feel right. its all doing my head in. where do i go from here??? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all for your help. just wanted to add over the past 2 weeks we have still been in touch by phone and txt. to day i have said that she knows how much i love her,really want it to work and want her back,so to give her time and space,said that she knows where i am if she feels that she wants to give it another try. do you think thats the right thing? or the wrong thing to have done?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all for your help. just wanted to add over the past 2 weeks we have still been in touch by phone and txt. to day i have said that she knows how much i love her,really want it to work and want her back,so to give her time and space,said that she knows where i am if she feels that she wants to give it another try. do you think thats the right thing? or the wrong thing to have done?
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female
reader, StarNews +, writes (4 January 2006):
 It doesn't sound like you two were apart for too long, and a little break can be good for the relationship, but this sounds like it was something more permanent. Which in your case, made you realize how much you loved her. Was this split a mutual decision? What were the initial reasons for the break up? If you were the one who asked for the split, then she may be afraid to take you back for fear of being hurt once more. I would suggest giving her more time to think, and allow her be the one to contact you.
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (4 January 2006):
 You do need to examine the reasons why you both split in the first place and you need to give her time to think things through.
It possibly doesn't feel right for her because you have split up and it would feel a little odd to get back together again after something obviously serious made you break up. Also, as it was your suggestion ultimately, she may feel hurt and confused as well as unsure as to whether getting back together again would serve any happy purpose.
Give her some time and then discuss with her her doubts and thoughts. Have prepared ways and means of improving the relationship along with your own understanding as to why it went wrong in the first place.
I know how hard it will be for you to give her time but it is best just to reassure her of your love and that you are prepared to make the effort to make things work this time and then to leave her to think things through.
My thoughts are with you.
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female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (4 January 2006):
I understand that you love your ex gf, and now that since its over, you are havign alot of regretment. The thing is, you have to remmeber why you BOTH decided it was for the best to break up in the first place. Has that problem just disapeared? Obviously not, otherwise this girl wouldnt be having doubts about geting back. If you really want to work this out, you have to discuss the true reason why this relationship ended. You both have to come up with a solution, if possible. If you can't then it just wasn't mean to be. Sometimes you can love someone so much and they can love you back, yet making a relationship work, just won't happen, sadly :(
Cheerish the great memories you have with her and be happy and thankful that it happened, not that its over.
I hope it goes well for you, and if that means geting back with you r ex then I hope that too, but please, remember the reason why it was ended in the first place, if that issue still exists, do you really think geting back is the best idea? if do you need to have a plan in order of how that will be dealt with.
good luck and take care.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2006): give her sometime don't push it try show her that you know what you want now that the split made you realize alot about you and what you truly want. Of course she is unsure as would anyone but, if she feels the same way I'm sure in a matter of time she'll come around again just try to help her understand your thoughts I know it's hard but You'll get through it. Good Luck
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