A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hello guys,im a guy who used to be so active, energetic, a party boy, in other words i used to be cool, but since a while, i got back with my ex, and now we re in a long distance relationship, and believe me guys :s i love her way too much and since we got together i feel like i became depressed :S lonely, i could spend hours waitin for her online at home alone while she would be out with her friends :S what the heck is goin on with me !! im still young and this is like the best time of my life and i should be enjoying it but i dont know whats wrong with me , i know that shes enjoyin her life , shes goin out with friends clubbin and everything and i f***** lock myself in my room waitin for her to come online :S im not even sure if she loves me anymore, this love is drivin me crazy really , im so depressed and i dont know what to doplease i need some advice to get my life back, but i dont wanna lose my ldr girlfriend either :S what to do !!!?
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female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (30 January 2011):
 If you communicate by Skype you can log on and put your status as "available" (little green icon) or "away" (orange icon), turn on your speakers but still be doing other things - reading, watching television, cleaning, whatever. You can be in another room and glance (JUST glance) at the computer from time to time. Even in "away" mode she can still send an IMs which you will see when you check.
You might try doing this and leaving it on for an hour or so, then if you want to go out, go out!
Good luck!
A
male
reader, badbadboy  +, writes (30 January 2011):
The best idea:
Install an internet messenger software on ur phone, activate GPRS n ur phone and be off... I dunno the GPRS rates at ur place but even if it is costly it is worthy as it'll help u break the habit... or just leAVE UR COMPUTER IN A VERY HIGH VOLUME AND CONTINUE DOING UR WORK, WHENEVER SHE IS ONLINE she'll buzz u.. Go back to being a party boy... at first u may want to wander around at reachable distance from a computer... but u'll eventually get over that... Its just a phase u r going through... i've been in a long distance since da past 2 years... i've already passed ur stage and even we got back after a break up... so chill, relax and let it pass...
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (30 January 2011):
Hi there. Have you ever actually met, or has it been LDR via the internet only?
You need to just NOT switch on your computer for a few days, and simply get out of the habit of logging on.
It can become an addiction, and it's possible it's like that with you.
Do you have some friends you can go out and socialize with? If you do, I really suggest you do that.
It's a case of breaking the habit you have, and distracting your attention away from it by doing other things.
It's not that difficult to walk past your computer and not switch it on.
I'm guessing that you work, so that's at least 8-10 hours out of each day (Mon - Fri) that you are not at home. So there's a break away from the computer.
Then when you do get home from work, just don't switch it on. Sit and read or pursue a hobby or go for a walk, watch tv, just anything to take your mind off it.
Depending on what country your girlfriend lives in, she's probably in bed sleeping when you are up and about - and vice versa. So there's part of the reason for the delay in answering you or being available to chat with you online. That is something you can't change.
If she is getting a life for herself outside of chatting online with you, well then that's encouragement for you to do the same.
You deserve better than that, surely.
If the only contact you have is online, well you aren't really boyfriend/girlfriend, but more like penfriends. It's the equivalent of writing letters to each other, then waiting for a reply.
There's no doubt about it, the internet can become an addiction and it is hard to break that habit - but not impossible.
All habits can be broken. It just takes some conscious reforming of new habits. Doing less of the internet chatting and more living of REAL life instead.
This is not to say cut out all internet chat, but just to do less of it.
Perhaps you could consciously budget your time each day, to just a couple of hours maximum.
If you are used to sitting online for 6 hours, limit it to just 2 hrs at the most. And actually watch the clock on your computer as you are doing it.
Then at the end of 2 hours, say you are signing off because you have to do something else - going out, whatever.
Then log on in 2 days time or even 3 days. The same thing again - 2 hours online, maximum.
By doing this you are gradually getting out of the habit of constantly sitting chatting on the internet for hours on end. You can actually then begin to get a life of your own.
It could take a couple of weeks to get used to, but it will be worth it.
The trick is to actually get out of the house, don't just sit in the living room thinking about it. You have to physically get right out of the house altogether, and go visit a friend or see a movie, pursue a hobby, anything at all. Anything to completely distract yourself from thoughts of chatting online.
You can do it.
Best wishes and take care.
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