A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are having sex issues and it's really damaging our relationship. He seems to get an erection as soon as he wakes up, but I'm so groggy and tired that I'm not in the mood at that time. I'm also seem to have lost any desire to have sex. It's not like I've lost desire for him only. I'm just never in the mood, not even to masturbate, but he is full of desire and wants it all the time. Any tips on how to feel desire again? PS I'm constantly working and stressed from getting my work done in a productive manner, and I never feel sexy. I also think of sex as a chore sometimes, because of all the 'cleanup' involved.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2017): honey here is a little secret: many, if not most, women feel like sex is a chore sometimes! I'm sure some men feel that way as well! Sometimes we just do it to please the person we love, and not because we have a particularly strong desire at that same moment.That is perfectly normal. As long as it is just SOMETIMES and not all the time. At other times you should be feeling the passion.I think that you are going to need to compromise going forward. I feel like you do need to have "time off" between sex sessions so that your desire will have a chance to build in between. If you are pressured into doing it all the time, the desire will never be there, and it will feel more and more like a chore. I think you need to tell your boyfriend that you just can't do it all the time with him, you need to build desire in between and reach a compromise. Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2016): No excuses. The truth is, you wanted a boyfriend, and he happened to be available. Here's some info about men.
Men are most sexually-charged in the morning when we first wake-up. Our testosterone levels are highest at that time. If you're always groggy, go to bed earlier; or have sex the night before. Eat well, get exercise, and know for sure if you're really attracted to a guy; orif just want to have a boyfriend, because all the other ladies you know have one.
There are occasions when there is a couple with uneven sex-drives. Then again, I have to consider that we are now in the 21st century, and millennials have a different approach towards sex and relationships.
People complain when there's no sex, and assume he's cheating or masturbating to porn. Then there's the issue where they think he fantasizes about a totally different type of woman.
If you're only around 22-25, and have no sexual-desire for your man; he's only there because you just want a man to show everyone that you can get and have one. Not because you want and love him.
Even if this is totally untrue, he will come to this conclusion on his own. If you don't want or need sex, you don't need a boyfriend at 22-25; because men at that age want and need a lot of it. Plain and simple.
If there is something about the way he makes love; you have to be open and honest with him. If he doesn't please you to orgasm, or sex is over as soon as he gets his. You must explain that you don't get equal pleasure, and don't be afraid to tell your man what you want and need. Sex goes two ways.
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A
female
reader, worriedgirl2012 +, writes (5 December 2016):
Sounds like you are stressed with work and that's leading into your sex life. Are you on any kind of medication that could influence libido? Some birth controls and other prescriptions reduce sex drive. If your relationship with him is good, I would speak with your doctor. Personally I need to spend the day with him or go on a date then I get turned on. I can't just jump into it (I think guys can more than girls). Maybe focus on having more foreplay so you'll be in the mood to. My BF is very horny in the mornings and I'm groggy and exhausted like you are too! I just don't bring it up because there's no way I'm turned on at that hour. Maybe you can switch it up with just oral or a hand job instead of the full thing. But ultimately you should talk to him too!
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