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age
26-29,
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writes: i am a girl and i have a boyfriend and until now have not questioned my sexuallity, but i have started thinking about girls in a sexual way but not at all in a relationship way, i dont ever mastibate about girls(or anything eles for that matter).i sometimes look a a pretty girl and i am confused of the emotions i have, i dont know if it is that i want to physically be her or be with her.i am scared about this because my friends might get creeped out and think i fancy them or something. i think some woman are so beautiful and perfect and i dont know if its admireing or something more lustuos, help me am i a lebian (i dont want to be ) i have nothing agenst it but it is difficalt to understand my feelings. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (11 March 2013):
 coming from someone who's been out of the closet for a long time (yours truly), being gay IS scary and difficult to accept at first, for some. society still hasn't embraced it fully, so there's a lot of negative connotations still associated with it. sometimes, some people do think you're creepy or look at you different. but that's just because they don't know better. i'm no different than anyone else. i literally am the SAME as the rest of the world, i just love women not men. big deal? so don't let this misconception of gay people scare you off or make you feel compelled to hide who you are if you do in fact discover you are into women.
you say you don't want to be gay. i can understand this to an extent. it's a hard path to walk. there's not equal rights yet and some people do judge you harshly and unfairly. honestly, being straight is much, MUCH easier. you can walk down the street holding hands and kiss in public without everyone eyeballing you like you've just pissed in public, etc. but don't say you don't want to be gay because you're falling victim to the stereotype that there's something wrong with it. or because you're allowing other people's ignorant points of view to make you think it's not normal.
for me, personally, i had a breeze when i finally figured my sexuality out when i was 18. it was literally like a light bulb came on and i never went back. i had crushes on girls my entire life, yet somehow i managed not to realize that's what it was. i just thought they were really close girl friends. the reason this happened was because i fed into society's bullshit so much, that i never even allowed myself to question that i could possibly be anything other than straight. because only weirdos were gay, right? well when i had my first kiss with a girl, suddenly the whole world made sense.
it suddenly became so clear why i never felt emotionally connected to men. why i didn't enjoy sex with guys. why i hated kissing them or being affectionate. it explained why i never felt comfortable at all. and from that moment on, 11 years later, i've never questioned myself since.
you don't have to know your sexuality right this minute. and you certainly don't have to define yourself. very few fall so black and white into the "gay" or "straight" category. it's much more grey than you think. and much more common for men and women to have attractions to the same sex than you'd think. a lot of people just don't like to admit it. google "kinsey scale of sexuality," and you'll see what i mean.
take your time and figure yourself out. you're still young. i assure you, you will know with time how you feel. whether it just be that you can appreciate a woman for her beauty and want to look like her or you have an attraction to her and want to be with her, one way or another, you will figure it out.
a few questions to ask yourself (and being in denial won't help at all - must be truthful):
1. can you picture yourself having sex with a woman and enjoying it?
2. does the thought turn you on?
3. have you ever had a female friend who you got so close with, that sometimes they seemed like a relationship?
4. do you think about kissing these attractive women?
if you answered yes to any of these, it's more than likely you're not 100% straight. anyway, hope this has helped some. if you have any particular questions you don't wish to address on here, feel free to inbox me. :)
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