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I slept with him and now he's cold to me

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 October 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 19 October 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi, I need some boy advice! Ok so on my course that I'm doing where I'm nursing or training. There's this boy who I noticed first day! Very cute! He kept looking at 'me and we spent 4 weeks looking over at each other in lectures! I finally did some research and found out who he was and added him on fb! He messages saying glad found me, let's go for coffee! Then I see that his 8 years younger then me!!! So I freak out! I'm mid 30,s his 20,s. So when I mention this he says doesn't matter and his not bothered or by fact that I may be going to another city miles away in 5 months as he has friends there. So then I invite him out that weekend, but he can't come, his got manic schedule as plays professional rugby 5 times

week! He also lives hour away from 'me.

Anyway! We talk on phone, I thought sounded immature and stupidly told him! Then next day on course see him and we dont speak! That nite i connivence him to sack of his busy schedule and hang out with me. I become all lovey dovey on text and he likes it putting xxx when I said I want to be person that gets him away from schedule and be there for him!

Upshot he said his looking for relationship and doesn't want to sleep around as done that! I said I'm sorry (later that night still) that I don't see it going anywhere! He then said not gonna see 'me not worth effort. But were meet for lunch see if we click! So we met and we had 10

mins and he was in mood, I said sorry take back what said, he said can't in his head and thinks it's too much plus bitter over ex who screwed him over together months didn't sleep with him then cheated!

So basically that was it! I tried to text him and his replies were cold! I said in message I take back what said I'm sorry I screwed up and if could start again would, as I realised I do really like him! But he never replied! Then 3 days later.. I text him asking how rugby was! Upshot he said would come to mine for movie and hugs! I ended up driving hours to pick him up as he didn't have car! He was like yeah if wanna pick 'me up can! But very whatever bout it! Anyway I did! At mine I said not sleeping with you as we said wanted more! He said sorry but doesn't know what he wants and can't say it will be! The inevitable happens and we do sleep together, really lovely! But he goes cold after and no hugs etc! In morning wake up cold! Walk to course go separate ways even though on same course! Then all day doesn't even look at 'me! Finally at end day speak to him says I'll drop you a text! Nothing!

And now I really like him and he doesn't like 'me! Shouldn't slept with him scared blown chance of relationship with him! I tried as texted him hope your ok? But no reply!

He was one who wanted relationship now tables turned! Any advice! Really like him!

View related questions: immature, text

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A female reader, misLadYd.. South Africa +, writes (19 October 2010):

misLadYd.. agony auntreading your story i think he played you.you can just tell by the way he behaved after you slept together..dont talk to him for a while as he is being cold towards you.see if he will talk to you when you ignore him a bit.it must be painful working in the same place after what you guys did.he is young,maybe he is just scared.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010):

I don't think it ever had much hope of a relationship.

Things meandered on until he was at your place or wherever, which you encouraged.

Sex was on the menu and he took it. He never promised you anything but you were right about the immaturity.... it's right off that he doesn't even acknowledge your existence.

This chap is too young for you, and behaves as such. You said the sex was lovely. But lovely sex and a good basis for a relationship are very different things, as you know.

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