A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im a guy and im quite sensitive when it comes to how i feel bout someone. i got with a girl and lost my virginity with her early ( too early) and she suddenly stoped replyin to my my textes. she dumped me soon after and makes out im messed up in the head because i wana no y she did what she did. she neva did tell me why. i wana no y someone would do this sort of thing and i still have feelins for her but dont want them so how do i get ova what happened?
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female
reader, Andrea24  +, writes (10 May 2011):
It could be a reason for that...Maybe you did something wrong or you send her the wrong message. What if you were the one who were who take her to next level and she wans't ready? Maybe she thinks that the only thing that you want its sex?Think about it...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): heyah im rele sorry 2 hear that she sounds really nasty. i hope u r okay? if notin time u will be.. think on the brightside atleast she didnt lead u on after giving u the rong ideas.. but i just wish u luk and believe me theres girls out there who would love a man like you 2 care!! .:-)
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A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (17 December 2007):
I really feel for you my brother.It seems she thought you were more experienced and it seems she's disappointed.Tough luck man.These things happen.Give her space as well.If she comes back see what you can do and if she doesn't move on.The chik has no morals and probably didn't even know what she's doing when you slept with her.Take it easy,time will heal your wounds,only time.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, sim_jan  +, writes (17 December 2007):
hi dear,
its sounds similar to what i have been through, during my college days i had an affair with my class mate, but he was more intrested in sex, rather than a mental relation, but we being indian have a limit where to put stop, so did i, i allowed him only to kiss me, but nothing byond, so he did the same way as not talking to me not answering my calls bla bla....but my feelings for him was very true...i did kept on trying for him, and after 2yrs i just tried to ignore that entire things and started to live a new life...this time period was very killing but i managed it with grace of god, one fine day after 2yrs he send a message that he would like to continue as he didnt find any good girl as like me...i didnt find the reason in detail as it was not needed for me.. but this time i made sure that he is not going to play around me...after 1-2yrs when i completed my grad. got an job we both were independet to settle down...and matured enough to handle life...so now he started asking for sex....wich was out of questiong for india girls before marriage...but he cried insisted me...promised me...almost for 6months...even i also thought that anyhow i am going to marry him so there is no reason that i have to worry about he will dump me after having sex,as he was more into sex..so finally on my birthday we had sex..after that i just dont no i was feeling guilty and was not able to face anyone..as my heart from inside was feeling as off i have done a big crime for which i will be punished by god...i have forgot values and ethicts of life which my parents have tought me..so slowly i got upset with this guy and kept a distance as if not to call him not to answer his call..he forcefull tried to speak to me but i was very upset with him so i ignored him totally...as i was through a trauma..i took a vaccaction to my native place to know my self what i want...then i realised that i am in true love even he is also having that true feelings for me....so i should condier this as our path towards a strong relationship..so i went back to him and since then we both are together...last aprilwe got married and are together.
Writing you the entire story was only to make u feel that there is true love..only to find it
1- if a girl insist you to sleep with her in the initial stage of relationship, then be clear that she is not a trust worty person.
2 love the person who loves u, rather whom u loves,thats how love goes on.
Now give her some time...if she really is in a trauma of guilty of what she has done...she will take some time to recover,slowly be in touch with her and if she comes back..dont force her for sex atleast for sum time till your relationship is not normal on the trck.assure her that you will be alws beside her..she will feel good about it...waitfor her ...is she is good in character she will be back
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): Your writing skills make you sound a lot younger then you are claiming. Good chance the girl you has sex with is also very young and this whole thing might have been her first time and she is not old to understand her feelings about all of this either.
If you are the age you are claiming then your writing ability shows an emotional immaturity and as most relationships happen you found someone who is an equal and there for equally emotionally immature.
Either way take a step back from her, give her space. She is probably as confused as you are and doesn't understand why. It is a natural tendency to lash out and blame others when confused and hurting. Though usually as you get older you'll learn better coping skills.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (17 December 2007):
 when we look at where to place blame and where to draw a line to determine what was done to us, we have to look at the facts around what happened. (1) because you have feelings for her, is she obligated to have the same for you? (2) to you, what are relationships built on, sex or? (3) you mentioned you lost your virginity early to her......a choice you made or did she force it on you? Relationships are developed around choices. She has the right to choose who to spend time with and so do you. At any time either person can choose not to spend time with the other one, and just because your feelings haven't changes, your feelings don't hold her obligated to remain with you. It hurts when things like this happen, but I still really believe that every relationship, good or bad, comes with a positive learning experience. You get over it by clearing your heart and forgiving her for her actions, and forgive yourself for not knowing the possibility of this happening.
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A
female
reader, anonymous woman +, writes (17 December 2007):
hi! you sound like a very nice guy, you need to understand that you deserve better. And that shes not the only woman out there if you would like we could talk more. Email me
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): Time is really the only thing that will help you get over this. I can't really tell you why she did this, only that I'm sorry she did it.
Don't send her texts, emails, or try to call her, that's not going to help.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): Man... why did you do it? girls hate it when guys get all over them too early. Just apologize for taking her virginity. By the way... you're dumb
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A
female
reader, xapathyxrebornx +, writes (17 December 2007):
 Hun I wouldn't say your messed up in the head, but on that not I don't know you. It's perfectly natural to want the answer why but dont let what she said get to you.
I dont know why she dumped you, i doubt many can give you the answer, but theres is two things you can do...well three.
1. You can go to her place and talk to her, or meet up with her and talk to her, if she respects you then she'll give you an answer, if not then shes not worth it honey.
2. You can just move on, hold your head up high, find a new girl and try your best, anything you many think you have done wrong in this past relaationship use that to make the next one better hun.
3....or you could just wallow and be pissed off
the choice is yours
anyway message me im here to talk honey x
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (17 December 2007):
 She sounds NASTY. JUst remind yourself how she is, mmove on and get on with your life. She sounds like an idiot to me and it sounds like she just wanted to "pick your cherry" so to speak.
CRUEL but I suggest you delete her number. Have absolutely NO contact with her. Sometimes people do things like this and then just leave. You have no idea why.
You're probably questioning everything and trying to figure it out. Truth is you could try and work out loads of reasons why. At the end of the day just forgive and forget. It's not nice but I'd say keep yourse;f busy with friends and family and put it behind you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): I don't feel like were getting the whole story here. There has to be a reason she says you are messed up in the head & she suddenly stopped talking to you. Are you sure that you did absolutely nothing?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): I do feel seriously sorry for you. It doesn't sound fair whatsoever.
In your situation it isn't hard to get over someone like that. I know it doesn't from your view, but there are worse situations. From just what you have told me, you doesn't sound that fond of you - for some reason. If you really don't want to like her, that's even easier. I know it's hard at the moment after everything that's happened, you need to find someone else who you know isn't going to mess you about.
Loosing your virginity might be something to you, but this is now. There's plenty of other, nicer, women out there who will respect your feelings.
Also, use your friends as a source of comfort. Hang out with them and take your mind off of her.
It's sweet that your sensitive, but now you need to bite the bullet and take control. It sounds like she's taking control at the moment. Only then will this whole thing blow over.
Good luck.
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