A
female
age
30-35,
*ella.mia
writes:I saw one of my good friends last night who is pretty depressed and we went to see these friends i haven't seen nearly 2 years because they were travelling. Anyways, me and one of guys have always had this sexual tension between us and 2 years ago he was seeing my friend (the one i went to go see them with yesterday) ...they were kind of dating but basically just having sex and she thought it was more than that but he didn't want a relationship with her.. He tried to sleep with me 2 years ago and even though i really wanted to i didn't take his offer because I didn't want my friend being mad with me. She gets very jealous even when im just talking to him or any guy for that matter more than her..Last night she was being pissy towards me because me and the guy the slept with 2 years ago were talking alot about going to spain and stuff.. She demanded to go home and that was a whole another story but her parents came to pick her up (we're in our 20s btw) ..I stayed behind and me and that guy ended up having sex and it was just what i needed to get over my ex. I'm usually not in for one nighters but that fact that i knew him for a while and he's very sweet. I know its strictly sex and that it wouldn't go anywhere.Is it wrong what i did? and the guy told me i shouldn't say anything to her because shes depressed enough as it is but i know one of his friends would've said something, so i told her and she was like 'eww thats gross us both sleeping with the same guy'.. but the thing is she hasnt slept with him in 2 years and i had a good time
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (10 January 2011):
 Might I add your friend didn't seem to care when you told her, she was more grossed out by the sloppy seconds. There's no issue here.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (10 January 2011):
If she's currently in FWB with him, then yeah that's not too respectful of you. But if it's been 2 years since she's slept with him, and you had this one night stand with him, then it's not a big deal.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2011): What is more important in your life? Some meaningless sex with her ex or your friend? Seems like you 'friendship' is very fickle/ shallow bec you knew your friend still has issues about her ex and u knew that she will be hurt by what u did. Although sex is just sex to you, your friend was deeply hurt by this guy. You knew it yet you went ahead and had sex with him just for the case of having sex. It doesn't matter whether it was 2 years ago, real friends do not piss on each other. They have each others back and they care for each other.it is evident that you did not care much for your friend.
Her ex bf knew she was depressed and that she would be hurt therefore he told you to keep your mouth shut. Yes u did the right thing by telling her but why did you have to hurt her.
Some boundaries should never be crossed. Having meaningless sex with your friends ex means that u placed the sex over your friendship.
You knew she was hurt and uptight and that she was not handling the situation well. Yet you did as u pleased and rubbed the fact that u had him. To me this means that u do not value your friendship.
Put yourself in your (ex) friends shoes. She is still hung up on this guy and her so called friends damages her further by sleeping with him. Not good, not good at all.
I do not think your friendship will survive this betrayal and if u are really honest, you did betray your friend.
I always question: with friends like u who needs enemies? This statement is so harsh yet so true. You hurt your friend deliberately. And that is inexcusable and cruel.
Sorry to be blunt but I rather tell u what u have to know than lie to you about your behaviour. I think u owe your friend an apology, and plse do not just pay lip service. It needs to come from the heart but you can only do this once you examine your actions, beliefs and truly find a way to make amends to her.
LoveGirl
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