A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a nice guy who weighs 220 pounds of mostly muscle - 6 ft and I workout 4-5x a week for an hour each time. I am in college (age 22), and have a job, both of which I am successful at. I got out of my previous relationship about 3 months shy of a year ago. It was not a healthy relationship, and I am better off without my ex. So background info done - Now to the questionI can't seem to get a girlfriend. I know a lot of girls who are single, but I guess they don't see me as dating material. It is not for lack of trying as I went out the other day. I didn't really feel a connection with the girl. I already am involved in a lot of activities and me people often. My standards aren't exactly sky high either. She just has to be nice, have a half way decent body (average), and have something in common. How can I show that I am interested in a girl without laying it on her?What is the best way to ask her on a date?What should I do when I am interested?I know these seem basic, but I am at my wits end. Please be as detailed as you can. Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2011): Currently you might be asking women on dates to see if you can become intimate.
Maybe try feeling connected with them first and then go on the date.
Sometimes the formality of the standard date makes people feel like they are applying for a job (or maybe that's just how I feel). Perhaps you are presenting your self too much as a "candidate" but you aren't really being yourself.
Instead of just asking women on dates, chat them up and get them to spend time with you first, in a non-date situation.
The best way I've gotten to meet men (and really start to like them) is when you get stuck with them for a a longish period of time. Airplane trips, boring parties, playing video games with a friend's friend, running a lap with them in the park, and otherwise just hanging out.
Now that I think about it, I've never had a real relationship with someone I've been on a real "date" with. More often than not, I met them through an outing in a group of friends.
You are figuring out your approach and you seem proactive which is a good thing. Maybe just get a little more creative with your approach. Create moments where you can get to know the woman better, don't just ask for a date.
This approach works well: "I am going to such and such a thing tomorrow night, want to come?"
It's not that you can't ask for a date, but it's nice to spend time with the person informally first. Dates sometimes feel like a lot of pressure.
Good luck.
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