A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my ex split over 3 months ago and recently even though he has a new partner he has said he isnt actually happy and he thinks he may be going through a breakdown, because we share 2 children together and we were together from a young age for almost 6 years I`m beginning to wonder whether he is just stringing me along.As for me, I have found it very difficult to move on. I do get attention from other people but I feel that I dont want any of it, I miss everything we shared together, it was just very difficult towards the end and he says he misses everything too, even me. What am I supposed to think? I sit there every day and think about him and cry.
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (21 November 2009):
 oh, you poor baby! I know how you feel, and the gut clenching pain, a lot of peopl dont realise that we arent only mourning the loss of the relationship but also all our dreams and hopes for the future we envisaged for ourselves, and more importantly, for our kids.He should not be discussing his current partner or his breakdown with you. That just makes it harder. Next time he starts to talk about her tell him you are not interested either way, if he is having a breakdown or having the time of his life, tell him to keep it to himself, he removed himself from your sphere of caring when he left, and he can stay removed.The bastard!Dont even begin thinking of a new relationship just yet, being as vulnerable and hurting as you are you may only attract predators and the like. Start working on getting your life back together first, sit down and write lists, make plans, and start changing your life, one little step at a time. Do a short course, do voluntary work at the kids schools, anything to get you out of the house and change the patterns you have in your life now.Sorry I rambled, good luck with it all.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2009): You need closure from him to fully recover. But if theres children, you'll need to come up with arrangements.
3 months isn't long to have been apart from someone serious. People recover in different ways. If he already has a new partner, could it be possible he's just on the rebound because he's afraid of being alone for the first time in 6 years and because of indecent haste?
Be careful when he says he misses you when he has a partner, there might be the chance he is stringing you along. If he wants to be with you, then I'm sure he would act on it. If his actions are bothering you, confront him, who knows maybe he does miss you and wants to reconcile.
It's not fair for him to be experience a break down and being unhappy if he's with someone else, the bitterness and sadness from the breakup can be passed on to the partner which may result in an unhappy relationship then break up.
All the best
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