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male
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anonymous
writes: I'm 19 and I met this girl about a year ago and we became really good friends, I liked her straight away but just decided that because she had a boyfriend that nothing would happen. I told her my feelings after about 6 months (couldnt help it), but we both decided that nothing could happen. We had the best time with each other over the next 6 months, spending lots of time together and really being happy. I got into a place where I decided nothing would happen, but then she turns around to me and says that she started to feel for me too. We spent even more time and basically fell for each other. She broke up with her boyfriend 2 days ago. It should be really good for me, but I am devastated because she is really upset. I don't know how to comfort her, but I think I need to give her space. I love her so much and it kills me that I can't see her because she is so fragile. I can't stop thinking about her and wanna talk to her all the time! but I don't know if that is such a good thing! :( We haven't even kissed but we have been so close and hugging, I'm so in love with her.
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female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (20 January 2006):
Hi there,
I have a rather similar story, but from the GIRLS point of view, so mayb this will give you some insight into how shes feeling?
Basicly a while ago, i was going out with a guy, called cameron, at the same time i was friends with shane, who i became very close with. shane had told me how he felt but i at the time didnt think i felt the same way back and besides i had a bf. then eventually i started to realise i had feeligns for him. after much deliberation about how to go about it and if i could bear causing him so much pain, i broke up with cameron, so i could be with shane. when i actualy told him i was breaking up wiht him, i cried! i bawled my eyes out. i honestly didnt have feelings for him yet i felt so guilty and upset because he loved me nad i was breakng his heart. for about a month afteri continued to have exstreme feelings of guilt and was rather down, because i lost him as a friend. yet shane aws really supportive and was williing to take things slow.
So basicly, what i think is this girl is probably just upset that it has ened, even though she likes you alot more then she liked her ex bf! She might be feleing bad that she hurt him and might be upset that she might not be able to be firneds with him anymore.
But remmeber, its only been 2 days! the wounds have just been open and need time to heal.
Just tell her that you are there for her. Dont just stop calling her or seeing her to give her 'space'- people take it the wrong way and think that they have done something wroong. if you want to leave her alone due to thinking she needs it, literally tell her that 'i am going to give yo usome space if you need it but when u want to talk just give me a call as i will be waiting' or something like that. she needs to know that when the timing is right that you will be there ready.
But remmeber again it has only just happened and time heals all wounds. im sure things will get better!
I mean you both love each other and that is a great advantage. im sure things will worko ut, just hang in there! good luck :)
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