A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I really need some advice. There is a incredible woman I've been in love with for some time now. We've seen each other for about a year, but these feelings didn't begin till last summer. She's the type of woman I think I would do almost anything if it made her happy. Our relationship is such that we both lead busy lives, it is long-distance, and finding time to coincide our schedules isn't easy. Things were different for us last year. We both had much more time to spend together. Things have changed somewhat for me, a lot for her. So our time together is less and less. But when we did get together, it was really dates I'll never forget. Our plans were altered and I couldn't see her on Valentine's Day. We agreed to meet a few days before. I set up the perfect evening. But her job forced her to work late and being a single mother, when I finally saw her she couldn't stay for nearly as long as I hoped. She felt bad, I told her don't worry about it. But the truth is lately I feel like she doesn't have time for me. So on Valentines Day when I should have been sending her notes of affection, I sent her an email saying, more or less, that I felt she didn't have the time for me anymore. No sooner than I hit send I regretted it. I have sent several emails since, but I only seem to dig the hole deeper. We talked on the phone once but unfortunately I got called away in the middle of the conversation. I promised to call back, but haven't had any success since in getting in touch with her. I feel worse than I have ever felt because truth is she has put up with more bs from me than anyone should. She really is the love of my life and I simply messed up. Is there anything I can do without it getting to the point of me harrassing her? Or is this simply a case of waiting to hear from her, regardless of what her answer is? thanks Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): You really need advise?You THINK that you can do ALMOST everything for her.After reading your story, immediately I had to think at the young guy who wrote to his girlfriend: You are my everthing, I love you so much, I can do everthing for you, I can cross the ocean for you by swimming.Ps: tonight I cannot come because it's rainingBoth your schedules are so important, that you cannot find time together. For me means this that being together is not SO important. (except if the reason is children or a sick parents).I think that 'for the love of your life', you always find a solution being together, talking together, daily contact with skype, msn,(your LDR) sending a few sms during the day.What is long-distance? more than 200km? (or what I had 8000km, we were talking every day 3-5 hours and I slept maybe 4 hours). So start to 'REALIZE in stead of THINK' if she is really 'the love of your life' and act according to it.If the answer is YES. Take the plane, the car, the train, or go by hitch-hiking but ACT and take a bottle of champagne and a big bouquet of flowers, tell her you are so sorry about email and that you will show that she means everything to you. Prepare at her house her favourite dinner (take your ingredients) (and her daughter favourite dessert) and show her that you are also for her the best she can get.btw I do not believe in LDR, you should find a solution for this.I wanted to write this answer already yesterday, but hoped to get answers on my questions to be more specific. I guess you were feeling in my questions already some answers yourself.
A
female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (18 February 2009):
 I think I watch too many chick-flicks. LOL When I read your posting, I sensed that you are a very sincere person (though not without faults ... but at least you admitted to it). A female anonymous suggested that you come to her place to ask her forgiveness directly. So, images of some funny scenes in some chick flicks that I watched came to my mind. Do you know what would bring a smile to her face, or a laugh, when you do certain things? It would be a good ice breaker if you could do something that would bring her to smile or to laugh, even if you had to do something silly. Like when you come around to her house, as soon as you ring her door bell, you lie prone on the floor so when she opens the door, she sees you on prone on your back (on the door mat?) holding up a colorful bouquet of flowers. Or other silly (but meaningful) stuff like that. If I were her, I would probably think first WTH but then laugh at you. Then of course I would tell you that I hated what you did and that I was hurt by it. If you had never done it before, and you now promise her that you would never ever ever do it again, she might take it into consideration. Good luck! And please show her that you appreciate and recognize all her efforts (and that you need to say it more!)Cat
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009):
I went through your story and have a few questions, before it's possible to give you a helpful answer.
*You said LDR, what is the distance?
*Do you have car? or do you have to fly?
*What is the age of her child?
*Do you have children(age), if yes, what are your commitments.
*What kind of commitments do you both have that are more important then both your relation?
*Do you have harmony when you are together or is there always a (little) issue?
*Why is she the 'woman for who you can do almost everything'.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice.
I forgot to add that I think of her as my best friend, not just my girlfriend. Fact is if we never went out again, I think I'd actually be more upset at losing a friend than the love of my life. Does that make sense?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): hi there, the best you u can do is send a last message explaining how sorry u r and then if she dont come around u should actually go and see her, show her that you are sorry. If only my guy was like you instead of trying hard he just let it be. Be different from othere guys snd go there and show her jus not tell her but, show her also. T
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