A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I work in a hospital on a temporary basis and I had fancied a Doctor who works in a clinic where I have worked a few times. He never spoke to me before but I caught him looking at me several times and once smiling while looking at my body up and down. The doctor is about 45 years old (while I am 28) and I was told that he is single and that he wasn't seeing anyone.As I did not have the courage to approach him, I decided to send a rose with chocolates with a message saying "I am thinking about you" with my name and mobile number.He has not called me (as I kind of expected). I now seen a few people that work in the clinic and they looked away from me or turned their back! I now feel really enbarrassed and really sad as well. I am not sure what to do and I don't know if what I done was wrong. Any comments on it? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (29 April 2010):
 Hi q! I've been away farming!!! How are you?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): Hi everyone! Thank you very much for your comments! It made me feel a bit better. I think I will just forget about this guy and yes never do such thing again!
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (28 April 2010):
I think that sending chocolates, a rose and a note that says "I am thinking of you" would be a lovely thing to do when you are actually IN a relation, but sending them before you have started a relation, at your age and at his age, sorry - but it's kind of creepy. It's the kind of thing that a boy in grade 7 or 8 would do if they liked someone. At your age, it seems really immature, sorry.
You should have let him continue to get his interest up, maybe flirt back a bit, then let him make the first move. A 45 year old Doctor should be able to figure out by the signals you are sending that you like him, and a 45 year old guy probably wants to be the aggressor in the relationship as well.
As for the people at work, you probably aren't imagining it, people at work talk and gossip, and if you sent to his office, or left it on his desk, then they probably read the card too. Forgive me if I am blunt, but you did ask.
Forget about it both things and move on.
The doctor was stupid at not taking the opportunity of getting to know you better, and it's always better to have been a bit brave and taken a risk for a chance at love. He's proven a bit unworthy by not responding at all, not a terribly compassionate or understanding doctor, so perhaps you have dodged a bullet with that.
As for the gossips at work, you are just the flavor of the week, next week they will be gossiping about something else that is newer and more titillating, so forget them, they weren't your friends in the first place and who needs bitchy gossips for friends anyways?
Take away what you have learned from the whole experience and forget the rest. We all have moments like this in our lives. XXX
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 April 2010):
 Was he your "boss" or superior in any way? Relationships like that are often not allowed. Also it was a bit out of work-professionality. Maybe you misunderstood him and he wasn't interested in you at all, and now just feel bothered by the entire thing?
Even so, many guys check out women without wanting a relationship with them, and many again just like the chase. The times I ever gave my phone number to a guy he never called back. The times they've asked for it then they call back. So the best way to catch a guy in my experience is to let him believe he is still the one doing the chase. Guys can be gullible though, so it is easy to chase him down while still letting him believe he is the one doing the chasing.
What you can do now, if you still like this doctor, is to not make any further moves. Wait until things calm down. Then perhaps find a way to meet him "casually" outside of the workplace and say sorry for sending him the flower, that you had a random impulse and realized too late that it wasn't appropriate.
If he still likes you after that wait for a while again and then perhaps casually run into him, have a friendly chat, and maybe he will invite you out for a coffee or something. Clearly this man doesn't want you to be making the moves!
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