A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been talking to this girl online for almost a year now. She doesnt live close by, but we have been planning to meet. I talk to her on the phone all the time and I have added her on Facebook. I feel so very horrible and shallow though. She used to send me pics of her and I always thought she was so beautiful and sexy. Now I have seen some pics of her on Facebook and her body isnt what I have been picturing. She is a bit overweight and I feel like such an ass thinking about this. I care for her and I love her. I still think she is so beautiful and sexy, but in a way I lost some of my attraction to her and I dont know what to do. I feel so bad, I mean I want to be with her and finally meet her, but I am worried once I see her in person I wont be as attracted to her as I have been. Its so hard cause I had this image in my head of what she looked like and now its not the same. I just dont want to even think like this, I just dont want to be so shallow. I hate it and I feel bad. I dont know, is it wrong for me to think like that and is there any way for me to just see the beautiful person she is and not worry about the physical part of it?
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female
reader, sunkist +, writes (9 January 2010):
I think physical attraction is one of the most difficult things to get past in a relationship. Most times, nothing will start if you don't find the other person attractive. However, you have already started something and say you love her. Would you not be able to get aroused if you were to meet in person? Would you not be able to have sex with her? Would you rather have sex with her or with no one? I think the answers to those questions answers your question.
A
female
reader, Anonymous!  +, writes (2 January 2010):
 haha i love tht last comment! i completely agree too! it would only hurt her feelings in the end so maybe stay as friends?? afterall the first impressions of someone you meet romantically are what they look like, as shallow as it sounds, its the truth!!
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (2 January 2010):
 I don't think you should schedule a meeting. It'll just make it that much harder to end it and by meeting her, she will assume everything is okay. It would be better to gradually extract yourself and move on. She doesn't have to know the truth, it would be too painful. It's the same reason women stop chatting with a guy once they realize they're short or bald.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 January 2010):
This is the problem with online relationships. You had an image in your head and it's totally different to what she is. Just get to know her in person, listen to her and realize that she's more than a body. See where that leads. But clearly if nothing changes, you'll need to let her move on.
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